The Asher Update

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June 30, 2005

July 1, 1 AM

asher has had a great day today. i called gloria late afternoon to see how asher had done in his therapy sessions and to also find out how she and hadrienne were doing. i think i mentioned that asher had a swallow test yesterday to see if he could swallow, which would mean that he could start eating food in addition to getting fed through a stomach tube. apparently, asher not only passed the test, but they let him try some food today to see how he would do with it. first they tried apple sauce, but gloria said he clenched his teeth really tight and wouldn't even try it. so, they tried pudding instead, and he really liked it. he ate 10 spoonfuls, and his speech therapist said that tomorrow he would get to actually eat a meal (pureed first).

another huge step for asher today was that his orthopedic doctor there said that he didn't have to wear his "turtle shell" upper body brace for his back injury any more. that it had healed well enough for him, since his operation, not to need it.

finally, they put a button on asher's trach opening so that the hole could begin to close up around it. the hole edges have begun to break down, which means that the hole has gotten bigger than the original opening. apparently, when you remove a trach the hole closes up pretty quickly, within a day or 2 it can close dramatically. according to asher's respiratory therapist they will completely remove his trach in another week.

2 of asher's friends came down to see him today, mark and josh. it has really been hard on asher's friends not to be able to see him every day. gloria said that asher really responded to their visit. when it came time for them to leave hadrienne left with them so that she could get a ride to chattanooga for the skate benefit competition for asher tomorrow and saturday. when hadrienne told asher that she was going to leave for a few days and started to go, gloria said that asher got really agitatated and started making sounds like he was upset. getting upset over something like that is something that we have never been able to connect to a source until this happened today. it is so wonderful to see yet another sign that asher is becoming more and more aware of what is going on around him and that he has begun to find ways to let us know that.

the words of gratitude for todays good news about asher all go to God for the ways that He is continuing to pour out His mercy and grace on asher. i also continue to be greatful for all of you and your amazing words of encouragement that you leave as comments on this blog or that you email me personally to express. only once has anyone communicated anything in a negative way about either the way i write or the content of what i write and that actually happened earlier today. in proverbs it says that "a brother (or sister) offended is harder won than a strong city." it took most of the day to overcome the effects those words had on me, but i am deeply thankful to God that everywhere i went throughout the rest of the day God put people in my path who really lifted my spirits, beginning with joe and barbara novenson. i saw them only briefly in the grocery store, but even in that short time the effects of those words written earlier to me immediately began to fade.

please remember to pray for asher's continued healing and complete restoration. i continue to truly believe that this will be the ultimately outcome of this for him. pray for gloria while hadrienne and i are away from her. i know that she is lonely where she is without us. pray for the skateboarding benefit competition beginning today at 12 PM, and on saturday it will begin at 6 PM. they are really expecting a lot of people to show up. please pray for safety. it would really be a terrible thing for anyone to get hurt.

in addition to attending the benefit i also have a number of appointments tomorrow as well as other business to take care of too. the days just seem so short on the one hand and yet, on the other, so incredibly long. please pray that i will just be able to leave my worries at God's feet when i wake up in the morning. if i can accomplish that as my first order of business to take care of then i am fairly certain that i will find that the rest of the day will take care of itself.

may the Lord's peace continue to make a way for you to find your rest in Him.

seeking His rest,

andy mendonsa

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June 30, 12:15 AM

it was a full day today for both asher and my family. we were able to check out of the hotel where we have been staying for the past 2 days and move into a studio apartment that is being provided by the Shepherd spinal center. we can stay there for up to 30 days. asher will have to stay there longer than that, but we know that God will provide another place when we need one.

a very close family friend, wallace braud, gave me a ride back to chattanooga last evening. it was really wonderful to get to spend time with him. we first met wallace, his wife nancy, and their children hannah and michael soon after moving to chattanooga. they quickly became some of our dearest friends. their son, michael, is an amazing agressive inline skater and just got back from skating all over europe for a month with friends. the first thing he wanted to do when he arrived back in atlanta, yesterday, was to come and see asher. asher and michael were not only good friends, but asher used to skate with michael as well as shoot video footage of michael. asher has been working on a skate video for almost 2 years and michael was one of his main skaters in this video.

asher had a very full day of therapy today. physical, occupational and speech therapists all worked with asher throughout the day. he was very tired when i left around 6 PM to ride back to chattanooga with wallace. i can tell you that it was really hard to leave asher, gloria and hadrienne behind knowing that i would have to be gone from them for several days. there is business that i have to take care of back here in chattanooga as well as to be here for the skate board competition to benefit asher this friday and saturday. when i spoke with kevin jones, the skate park owner, this evening he asked me if i would open the competition at noon on friday with prayer. i can't tell you how deeply touched i was by this request. how could i refuse such an honor and a privilege?

please pray that the rain will hold off for both days of the competition. also, please pray for gloria not to be too lonely while hadrienne and i are in chattanooga. she will be able to spend much of the time that we are away up visiting with asher, but the rest of the time she will be by herself. hadrienne and i will be going back early sunday morning. finally, please pray that i will be able to get all of the business accomplished that i need to get done over the next few days while i am in chattanooga. i really don't won't to have to go back to atlanta with any of it hanging over my head.

by the way, i was asked today to include an address for asher while he is at shepherd. you can send mail to him or us by addressing it to: asher mendonsa, Shepherd center, 2020 peachtree road, NW Atlanta, Ga., 30309.

so very thankful for God's faithfulness,

andy mendonsa

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June 28, 2005

June 28, 10:30 PM

asher wore his own clothes today for the first time since his fall. gloria brought a tee shirt that he had designed himself for his skate company, Roll Model. that is the name that he used for everything he did that was connected with inline agressive street skating, including all of the skating videos that he has made.
i can't tell you how great it was to see him wearing that shirt and shorts.

they put asher in a special wheel chair this morning that provides support for his head. almost as soon as they hoisted him in it he really seemed to come to life. for the next hour they let us push him all around the unit so that he could see where he was and who was around. finally, we parked him in the physical therapy room in a place where he could look out the window. after he spent some time looking i decided to see if he would respond to any commands. so, i asked him to stick out his tongue and he did it almost immediately. then i asked him to close his eyes and hold them. he did that almost as quickly, and not just once, but twice. next, because he was starting to make some noises and we were talking to him about home i decided to ask him to say "home." to our astonishment gloria and i both heard him say "home."

a few minutes later his speech therapist arrived in order to spend some time evaluating him. i left gloria there with him, because i didn't want to be another distraction for him. after i came back gloria said the speech therapist told her that asher did really well and scored very high in terms of the scale that she used to evaluate him. all we could say is thanks be to God for more answered prayers.

tomorrow i have to travel back to chattanooga and take care of some business for a few days. please pray that i will be able to get everything done that i need to and also, that gloria will be able to do what she needs to by herself while i am away. hadrienne will also be joining me in chattanooga on thursday and will return with me back to atlanta, probably on sunday. this sure does get complicated at times. i really hate having to leave gloria in atlanta by herself for so long, but we are moving into an apartment that the shepherd spinal center will be providing for us tomorrow and it is very close by, so this will be a temendous help.

today we met the wife of the man that is in the room next to asher's. she asked us to pray for her husband and i told her that i would put her request for prayer on asher's update tonight. his name is chris smith and he is 42 years old. he had a cardiac arrest 97 days ago and he is still in a coma from it. he has now been in the shephard brain injury unit for 3 weeks and his wife is trying to get their home ready so she can move him there. when he had his cardiac arrest, he had just been exercising. they think that some plaque from a 49% clogged artery he had broke lose and caused his heart to arrest. several co-workers gave him cpr, but they couldn't get his hearts rhythm going again, so they finally used a protable defibulator that was available. they said that before they used the paddles that he was dead for 5 minutes and lost a significant amount of oxygen to his brain and that is why he is now in a coma. he has a trach tube, like ashers and he has to be on a ventilator. please pray that God would perform a miracle and begin to wake chris up and to allow him to breathe on his own. he and his wife have a 13 year old daughter that i was also asked to mention for prayer as well. God has placed a great burden on my heart for this very hurting family and it is my prayer that he will give all of you a burden to pray for them as well. i will give you updates on him when there are any changes in his conditions.

i continue to be just so thankful for all of you. everything i am able to write day after day i believe are really just testimonies for all that God is doing as a result of all of your prayers.

with great joy, hope and thanksgiving,

andy mendonsa

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June 27, 10:30 PM

last night was the calmest night i believe that asher has had so far. even this morning, before we left for atlanta, he remained very calm. he was scheduled to leave around 9 AM, but at the last minute xrays were ordered by one of his doctors, and an ultra sound had to be done to check for blood clots in his legs. he had no clots, and the xrays were done. i think it was around 11 AM when we were finally able to leave. gloria rode in the ambulance and hadrienne and i drove up together.

the ambulance beat us to Shepherd, even though hadrienne and i left before they did. we stopped to eat lunch along the way and apparently we took longer than we planned. we had hoped to get there ahead of them.

when we did arrive we found that asher was already in his room and gloria was in there with him talking with his nurse, rose. soon after that there was more filling out papers and going over schedules and then we got to meet some of the team that will be working with him.

i just can't believe how absolutely wonderful everyone has been to us since we arrived. gloria said that when they pulled up in the ambulance a woman from admissions was already standing out in front to greet them and she knew that it was asher that was inside.

when rose, asher's nurse today was starting to give us a tour of the facility, we had just gone out into the hall outside of asher's room when she began to explain what asher's schedule would be like beginning first thing the next morning. she said the first thing they would do was to dress him in a t-shirt and shorts before they sat him up in a special wheel chair that would support his neck. as soon as she said that they were going to dress him first i just started to cry. when she saw me she said to me, in a comforting way that she knew that this was hard for us. fortunately, i was able to let her know fairly quickly that i was not crying because i was sad, i was crying because i was happy, that these were tears of joy. the thought of them getting him dressed after he has been lying in bed for 5 weeks with just a hospital gown on, as bizarre as it sounds, filled me with such incredible assurance for his being in the right place. and everything that we experienced throughout the rest of the day only increased that assurance. so much so, that gloria was able to say her goodbye's to asher tonight at 9 PM and to leave him without tears or hesitation. and the amazing thing is that they said that she was allowed to spend the night in the room with him if she wanted to. her response to that was that she had no worries or doubts what-so-ever about him being there without one of us spending the night. i can absolutely promise you that, in itself, is a miracle, and it will mean that gloria will be able (and me to) to begin to get some much needed rest, as well as to be relieved of some stress levels that are in need of some reducing.

another wonderful blessing that occured for us today was a very old and dear friend of mine, randal umberger, from my days of living just outside of atlanta years ago when i was still single, drove in from cummings, ga. where he lives now with his wife linda and 4 children, to spend a little time with us and to take us out to dinner. i can't tell you how wonderful it was to see a familiar face after arriving in atlanta today. it was truly a special gift from God for me and my family.

something else that happened today, was that as i was walking back through the main lobby of the hospital, i saw a plaque on the wall with the first 3 original board members that started the shepherd spinal center. i was so surprised to discover that i had known one of them. it was clark harrison, who was, himself a parapelegic. i know that most, if not all, of you don't have any idea who clark harrison was, but for several years of my life growing up he was a very well known person in my families life. it was during the late 60's when clark harrison was elected as the chairman of the dekalb county (georgia) commissioners. my family was living in athens, georgia at the time, when this happened, and clark harrison offered my father a job as his executive assistant (the equivalent of a county manager). my father accepted and so we moved to dekalb county where my father served in that postion for about 2 years before being offered a job back in savannah, georgia as city manager. which he accepted and remained in for about 25 years until he retired.

who would have ever imagined that this very wonderful man that i knew as a child would have played such an important role in helping to found the very place that God would lead us to in order to get help with our dear son. i even have a copy of a book that he wrote about his life (i found it among my dad's things after he died, along with several pictures of him with clark harrison back when he worked for him). perhaps one day asher will want to read it. his life's story is, without a doubt, a very inspiring one.

before i end this i wanted to share 2 more dreams with you about asher. one was a dream that gloria had yesterday morning and the other one was a dream that i had this morning. this was the first time that either of us has had a dream about asher.

in gloria's dream she was with asher in my mother's back yard (she lives next door to us on one side of our house and gloria's parents live on the other side), and he was walking and apparently completely fine. suddenly they were aware that there was a huge tornado coming. one that gloria said must have been larger than a category 5 if that were possible. at first they ran into my mother's garage for safety, but after going in they realized that it was above the ground and couldn't offer them any protection so they decided to go back outside and take their chances there. as soon as they went outside hadrienne and one of her friends joined them. so, there they were, all 4 of them standing there watching this massive tornado coming straight at them. just when it was almost upon them, and she knew that there was nothing that they could do to save themselves from it, it seemingly evaporated right before their eyes and was gone except for this light confetti like substance that fluttered around them for a while before also finally disappearing, and leaving them all completely safe.

my dream of this morning also involved asher, but it started out with just me and him in it. i had just taken him in to see a doctor in this clinic-like setting and i was carrying him in my arms because he was still in a coma and paralyzed. after talking to the doctor i took asher outside and all of a sudden he woke up and when i put him down he stood straight up and seemed to be perfectly fine. i can just remember being so excited and telling him that we had to go and see all of the people that had helped him out in the hospital so that they could see for themselves that he was alright now. after we did this we were back at home in our back yard and asher had gone off to do something else and i was sitting on the ground talking to gloria, who was standing a few feet away. while i was talking i looked down at my shoes and about half way up on the inside of my left one i noticed that there was a small round hole about the size of a nickle in it and inside the hole i noticed that there was something moving around in it. when i looked closer i realize that it was the head of a snake that kept sticking it's head up. i wasn't really afraid, but i also wasn't really comfortable with it either. so, i loosened my shoe string and patted the side of my shoe to get the snake out. after a few pats it finally slithered out onto the ground and crawled away into the grass. it looked like a coral snake, but i wasn't sure, so i asked gloria what kind of snake it was. she immediately said it was a coral snake and wanted to know if it had bitten me. i said i wasn't sure, but i would take off my shoe and look. as soon as i got my shoe off i saw 2 fang marks just below my ankle bone and said to gloria that we had better go to the hospital right away. when we got to the hospital gloria put me in a wheel chair and began to wheel me through the hospital towards the emergency room. this seemed strange to me that we were inside the hospital and no one was concerned about me, and that we were heading to the outside of the hospital in order to stand at the right door and ask for permission to come in to get help, but before we could get there the nurse came into asher's room and i woke up. the only other thing i can remember about this very strange hospital, which seemed to be the same hospital or clinic that i had taken asher to, was that it was very dirty and disorderly. i remember passing through this one room that i think was a nursery. the floor had sawdust on it and as we were passing through it the nurse said to me to take my shoes off and to leave them behind for the children to play with, so i did.

both of these dreams each seem to hold some significance for the present circumstances that me and my family are in and may be self evident just as they are without any need of further interpretation. whether they are or not is my prayer request to you that God would make this known if further understanding is needed or would be profitable.

finally, i learned a while ago that my mother nearly went into antiphallatic shock as a result of an allergic reaction to an antibiotic she took earlier today for an infection in her toe. it was so bad that an ambulance had to be called. fortunately she was able to get some benedryl and a shot of epinephren which seemed to stop the reaction from getting worse. thank goodness. she probably should have gone on to the hospital in the ambulance, but didn't. according to my converstion with her she was doing much better tonight. please pray that she doesn't have any more complications from the effects of this allergic reaction in the night. we are greatly relieved that gloria's sister-in-law, jan, is there with gloria's parents helping out and she was with my mother when this happened. she has continued to look in on her until earlier in the evening. my mother's close friend and neighbor, rebecca, has also been looking in on her and my step-dad, dick, as well. i would be very indebted for prayer for both of our parents while we are gone. both sets moved next door to us over the past 4 years so that we could be more help to them. obviously, right now that is not a possibility for us.

grateful beyond measure for your prayers throughout this day and night,

in His peace and assurance,

andy mendonsa

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June 26, 2005

June 26, 7:30 PM

asher continued to have a good day today. they put his right leg, the one that he broke, in an extender machine. i know that isn't what it is called, but that is what it does. it bends his knee and then straightens it out very slowly to exercise it. he also showed much more movement in his feet while i was there. earlier, when the nurse came in to check on him she was able to get him to stick his tongue out 2 times in a row, which just totally amazes to me.

a dear friend came by and sat with asher all afternoon so that gloria and i could both come home and get everything ready to go to atlanta tomorrow. as i said in my update earlier today that i woke up with a list of things to do on my mind and started off the day worrying about how i was going to be able to do them all. well, everything has fallen into place perfectly, in fact, more perfectly than i even imagined they would. so, we should be able to leave town in the morning without any worries to follow behind us. of that, i am so thankful.

over the next few days i will have to figure out how to connect with the internet when i am in atlanta so that i can continue to let all of you know what the latest developments and improvements are with asher. until i figure that out i may only be able to just call in brief updates for a while.

please pray for safe travels to atlanta tomorrow and for everything to go smoothly as far as getting settled in. since asher's fall the landscape in our lives has been in constant change. things seem like they are moving both at the speed of light and as slow as the ticking of a clock. it is like our whole family has become something entirely new, and at the same time we are aware of tensions with the old. most of all, though, we are, more than anything else, filled with praise and thanksgiving to God for the ways that He is continuing to restore asher's health and to sustain our hope in Him in the process.

blessings and thanksgiving to and for all of you,

trying to stay in the place of still waters,

andy mendonsa

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June 26, 9 AM

asher had a great night. gloria said that he must have just been worn out from being so restless for days and nights now. she was actually able to get some sleep herself, which she has never been able to do before when she has spent the night in his room.

"don't worry about tomorrow, today has enough worries in itself." those words have constantly been ringing in my ears. i slept really well, also, but i woke up this morning thinking of all the things i need to do in order to get ready for our family to move to atlanta tomorrow. i know that hadrienne and gloria also have their mental lists as well.

i just have to keep reminding myself that every moment of every day has been taken care of since asher was first injured, and all the details that really need to be taken care of today will get done. my prayer is that my family and i will be able to tell the difference and not waste too much time on the ones that really don't matter.

yesterday i got an email from an old and dear friend of ours who said that as she has been following the updates on asher's daily improvements that it reminds her of the stages of development that a new born begins to go through. a few days before another woman also sent an email to me with similar thoughts. i have to admit that these have also been my thoughts for about a week now as well. asher is having to learn how to do almost every single thing all over again. in many ways it is like watching an infant developmentally progress at a greatly accelerated rate. in a strange way, there is something very familiar and comforting in this. it fills me with the same hope and anticipation that i had with both of my children when they were first infants for what they would developmentally grow to be.

for the first 3 years of my kids lives i could not stand to be away from them for more than a day (when i would have to go to work), because i was afraid that i would miss something very significant that they might do. i wanted to be there to hear the first words they said as well as the first steps they took. i find myself desperately feeling the same way about asher now. i don't want to miss any progress that he makes no matter how small or seemingly insignificant it might seem to others, every single moment since he was injured has become a miraculous moment, and i want to continue to live and breath everyone of them along with my family as God continues to carry all of us through this.

as God's children, this must be, in some part, the way that God gets excited and filled with anticipation for the ways that we developmentally come to rely on him. the ways that our speech changes as we recognize more and more that He is the author of all good things and we begin to give Him all thanks for it. the ways that our actions and attitudes change as we begin to become more concerned for the needs of others than we do for ourselves, and then we begin to actually do something about it, like giving a cup of cold water to the thirsty, visiting those who are sick or in prision, feeding those who are hungry and clothing those who are naked.

in recent years i have heard the parable of the good samaritan taught from the point of view that it is one of the Christian faith's strongest basis for the necessity of ministries of mercy to be fulfilled by the Church. this interpretation is based on the last part of this parable when Jesus asks the lawyer who, in the parable, showed love for his neighbor?, and the lawyer answer, "the one who showed mercy." jesus said that he had answered correctly and told him to go and do likewise.

the lawyer's answer here as well as jesus' command has been construed as being the over all point of this passage, that we are all to go out and demonstrate God's mercy to those in need. yet, if that is jesus' point then why are we not seeing this kind of mercy being poured out by the Church in america today?

i personally, have come to believe the error of this interpretation lies in the fact that it ignores the fact that this parable was told by jesus in direct response to the question that was first put to jesus by the lawyer. he asked jesus, "what must i do to be saved?" jesus, in turn, asked him what does the law say? the lawyer replies, "love God with all your mind heart and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself." jesus immediately affirms the lawyer for giving the right answer.

the lawyer, though, who must be feeling like he is doing a pretty good job at loving God completely as well as loving his neighbor as himself, pushes the point. the passage says that he actually wants to "justify himself" (be told by jesus that he is doing a pretty good job) so he asks jesus another question, "and who is my neighbor?"

jesus' answer this time is given as a parable (a word picture) so that not only the lawyer, but also everyone else who would ever read this parable, would be able to understand not only who our neighbor is, in God's eyes, and not only the ways that we are to demonstrate God's unconditional love for us by demonstrating that same unconditional love for others, but that this is also how God desires for us to worship him on an everyday basis. in this parable jesus is clearly presenting that that this kind of worship that He is giving us a picture of is one that is supposed to take place, in this parable, outside the walls of the temple, and even outside of the walls of jerusalem, and for us today this now means outside our church structures.

when jesus does finally finish this parable and asks the lawyer the answer to the lawyers original question, "and who is my neighbor?" the lawyer responds without hesitation: "the one who showed mercy." i do not believe, even remotely, that jesus was trying to communicate to the lawyer, and especially not us today, that His intention was for us to make mercy ministry a special category that is associated with particular gifts, calling and even office. rather, i completely believe, that just as jesus confirms to the lawyer that he has a correct understanding for what God's standard is for us to be saved is that we love Him with all of our heart and mind and soul and that we love our neighbor as ourselves that is God's same standard for the world today, and the evidence for it will be, what it has always, been, "the one's who show mercy."

the truth is that we cannot claim that we love our neighbors as ourselves if we do not love God completely, and we cannot claim that we love God completely if we do not love our neighbors as ourselves. in matthew 25, jesus is asked another question, but this time by His disciples. they want to know what God's criteria will be for separating the sheep from the goats? i believe that the answer that jesus gives to His disciples, and ultimately to all of us, is that God's standard for loving our neighbors as ourselves is "feeding the hungry, visiting the sick and imprisoned, giving the cup of cold water, clothing the naked." what is most amazing about this list is the fact that what the evangelical christian church today has made as it's priority in fullfilling God's standard for our loving Him completely and loving our neighbor as ourself, is no where on this list. their priority is evangelism, which today means having the unbeliever accept jesus by praying the sinner's prayer.

quite interestingly, not only does this priority for the evangelical church today not make it on jesus' matthew list, but it does not come up in the parable of the good samaritan either. the victim that is ultimately helped by the samaritan remains unconcious throughout the entire parable. in other words, the samaritan shows unconditional love to this victim despite the fact that he can't verbally witness to him.

over the years i have really struggled with the lack of mercy and compassion being demonstrated both by myself as well as the rest of the Church for all of the victims lying by the side of the road that God places in our path and this is from the pastor down they are being passed by.

a number of years ago i had a mission team coming to work with the widows ministry for a week one summer. on their way here their bus broke down about 2 hours outside of chattanooga about 8 PM on a saturday night. when they called i gave them the number for the pastor of a church nearby that was in their same denomination. i knew that this church, one, was fairly wealthy, and two, that they actually had a mercy ministry within their own church. i was honestly made speechless when this groups leader contacted me to say that he had spoken with the pastor and was told by him that he had just gotten back home from out-of-town not too long before and he still had to prepare his sermon for the next day and that there was nothing that either he could do for them.

the result was that it took all night to shuttle this group to chattanooga, because we couldn't find a vehicle large enough to carry all of them as well as their luggage, so several trips had to be made. the entire time i was driving back and forth to help transport this group this pastor, who had passed by on the other side of the road, who had placed what he considered to be his "high calling" before God's lowly calling for us to be servants first, and not be served, kept coming to mind in the context of the parable of the good samaritan, and i could not help but wonder, having closed his heart to both God and his neighbor in order to prepare his sermon the next day, what he could have possibly preached that had been inspired by the Lord.

i know that sharing what i have just shared will be very offensive to many of you who have come to this site to read the update about my very dear son, asher. honestly, as so many times when i have sat down to write a very brief update on asher's condition and progress, something else that i was not even thinking about comes out along with it, which has certainly been the case with this mornings update.

the great commission that is referenced so often by christians as the justification for evangelizing the way that it is being done by much of the church today, really is about making disciples, which is entirely different than trying to get people to recite a prayer. making disciples requires a willingness and desire by the one being discipled to surrender themselves to this way, and it also requires that the one who is fulfilling the discipleship role to walk in God's mercy, grace, love and compassion along side of that disciple. jesus, himself, provides us with the perfect model for what that discipleship process is supposed to look like. He also gives us an insight to the length of time that one might expect that process to last. jesus' time with his disciples lasted 3 years and after that time they were sent out to lovingly walk along side of other willing disciples. today's typical church model for discipleship, quite tragically, seems to be open ended, and can take up to 50 years or more, depending how long a person lives. and another interesting characteristic of this discipleship process is that it is also one that primarily only focuses inward. in other words, the discipleship focus tends to be more about building up the individual local church, or denomination, rather than the kingdom of God. unfortunately, if the truth be known, this has far more to do with the fear of losing potentially vasts amount of income for a church than for a fear of fullfilling God's standard for what it really means to love Him with all our heart mind and soul and to love our neighbor as ourself.

i, unfortunately, over the past few years have become entirely convinced that the sin of the church in america, as it is most obviously being demonstrated through the work of so many local churches in every city, town and state, that what has been written in ezekiel 16:49-50 about Sodom, exactly describes us today.
49.) "behold, this was the guilt of your sister sodom: she and her daughters had arrogance, abundant food, and careless ease, but she did not help the poor and needy. 50.) thus, they wee haughty and committed abominations before Me. therefore i removed them when i saw it."

as a christian, it is agonizing for me to even think such thoughts that i have tried to express in this update. it is equally agonizing for me to think that at the root and source of these thoughts is an uncaring leadership that has become so deceived themselves that they have inturn so greatly deceived so many of those that God has placed in their care. they have preached and taught that they are ok and that everything is going to be fine for them, but that world around them are the ones that are trying to corrupted not only their minds, but their very souls if that were possible. the reality is, though, that it is the church leadership that needs to take responsibility not only for it's own sin, and the subsequent sin of it's own church, but in taking responsibility for it means that it must then change the direction that it is heading in today. and that will ultimately mean the emptying itself of self, which is the very thing that it is more than willing to place on it's sheep in the building up of itself, but it is also the very thing that it is unwilling to do itself, in the building up of God's kingdom.

i have probably said this in another update, so please forgive me for digressing, but a dear sister said to me years ago when i was complaining about the church not doing what it is supposed to (empty itself of self) and she very wisely responded to me with "churches may not be doing what they are supposed to, but the church is." i knew as soon as she said it that she was right. just as i know today that the ways that God has moved in the hearts and minds of people all over the world to be moved to compassion for me and my family in the great outpouring of that love being expressed through prayer and service is one of the greatest evidences for all of us that the "church" is doing and will do what God has called it to do and be. one of our greatest obstacles for understanding this is to be able to understand the differences of purpose that God has for us in our churches and His church. they are two very distinct and almost entirely different things.

let me end this by saying that any motive that we have with regard to anyone or anything that is not based on unconditional love, is an impure motive. even evangelism. particularly evangelism as it is being carried out today. no matter how much we think we can justify our actions based on scripture, the very fact that we have to justify them should be the greatest indication for us that our motives are flawed. after all, did not even jesus say to the religious leaders "woe unto you justifiers of the truth?" and the very reason that He said this to them was because their justifications were not rooted in unconditional love, rather they were rooted in fear and power and control, because absolute power, and control and, yes, I believe even fear, corrupts absolutely.

asking forgiveness for any flawed interpretations or impure motives of my flesh in all that i have tried to share from my heart this morning,

i continue to be blessed beyond measure by God's continued outpouring of His mercy and grace in our lives,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Andy Mendonsa at 12:08 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 25, 2005

June 25, 4:30

asher passed the night without incident. his blood oxygen level was a little lower than it typically has been and his heart beats per minute was up for most of the night, but i think it is because he has night and day confused right now. he rests much more peacefully in the day. he also did not need any pain medication last night, which was really wonderful.

until gloria and hadrienne relieved me about 11 AM this morning, he was really having a very good morning for the most part. he dozed off and on, and he also continued to lift his head up, but with increasing frequency as well as determination.

in the night, i am positive that he said a few distinguishable words, but he is still not able to do that on demand. when his physical therapist came in this morning she rubbed ice on his feet to see if he had any reaction to cold, and he moved his toes (primarily his big ones) on both feet. he even, for the very first time, turned his right leg so that his foot was pointing straight up instead of to the side like it had been.

several nurses from ICU came down to see how asher was doing just before i left. it was so wonderful to see the care and attention they gave to him while they visited. it was like watching mothers care for their own child rather than nurses caring for a patient, and that is the kind of care that asher has been getting from all his nurses since he came to the hospital. not to make you think that all his nurses were women. asher has also had many incredible male nurses who have treated him like they were treating their own sons.

i also want to share a story about something that one of the icu nurses that came down told that happened to her son yesterday. she has a ten year old son, who is a skater, and she had already told us that since she first told him about asher that now he asks about him every day and also prays for him. well, yesterday, he had her drive him around in order to hand out fliers about the skate competition to benefit asher july 1st and 2nd. she said every time they passed a kid he would make her stop the car so he could get out and give he or she a flier. whle they were doing this they stopped at an ice cream shop so that he could give out some more fliers. he took one of the fliers up to a kid that was going inside the shop carrying a stack of CD's. when he gave him the flier the kid told him that he already knew about the competition and that he was taking around his CD's to try and sell them for a dollar a piece in order to make enough money to pay the entry fee for the competition.

the evidence for all the prayers that are being offered keep showing up in ways and means that are so overwhelming that i don't even have the vocabulary or the intellect to be able to properly express what i want to say even about not knowing how to express it. it just seems that gloria, hadrienne and i are in a perpetual state of awe for the things that are undeniable evidence of God's mercy and grace at work as a result of all of the prayers that are continuing to be offered up.

i was just thinking about a movie that came out a while back, called "hope floats." i never saw it or even have a clue as to what it is about. but from where i am sitting right now i can tell you that hope more than floats. hope retores life, even raising those from the dead, both spiritually and physically.

one prayer request that i very hesitant to mention is one involving a transportation need that it looks like we are going to have. i had a leased car that ran out june 13th and had to turn it back in. i had already decided that i wasn't going to get another car for awhile, one because there just hasn't been any time to even think about it and 2 i had decided that there were just too many more important needs that should be taken care of first with the widows ministry than my having a car. so, i was in the process of getting our 1966 volvo sedan running so that i could drive it for a while. this would have really been fine with me to drive, but now that we are going to atlanta on monday, this just isn't going to work for us. in part, because it still is not drivable, and the other reason is that it just would not be reliable enough for me to commute back and forth to atlanta. gloria and hadrienne will be staying down there all the time, but i am going to have to live between both places, at least initially.

i also really feel like i need to leave a car for hadrienne and gloria and the only other reliable car that we have that we could do that with is hadrienne's car. so, the plan is to take them down there on monday and leave hadrienne's car with them and i am going to come back and make arrangements to get another car so that i can travel back and forth.

this is just another in a long list of needs that i know will be worked out, i just have to be able to find the time to do it. with everything moving so fast gloria and i haven't even had time to hardly sit down and talk alone for more than 5 or 10 minutes at a time in over a month. very thankfully, we are going to get to do that in just a little while. God has gifted us with an incredible provision for that be able to happen. in fact, i really need to end this now so that i can make it in time to meet gloria at the hospital.

continuing to give thanks with all of you,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Andy Mendonsa at 04:32 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

June 24, 2005

June 24, 8 PM

asher has had a really great day. i arrived at the hospital at 11 AM to relieve gloria and hadrienne. shortly after they left, asher had dozed off and, and just when i happened to look down at him he opened his eyes and lifted his head like he was trying to get up. he continued to try this all afternoon until they sat him up for a few hours and after that he was too tired to try it any more.

it is official, asher will be moved by ambulance, monday morning to the sherpherd spinal center in atlanta. it is right behind piedmont hospital on peachtree road if you are familiar with atlanta. years ago i lived in midtown atlanta on myrtle street near piedmont park. it is really incredible that we will be going to a place that i am very familiar with. atlanta is also the place that my mother is originally from. her family was there at least as far back as the burning of atlanta, if not earlier.

there is more that i would like to share, but unfortunately i need to get back to the hospital and relieve gloria again.

our continuing thanks to God for each of you who are continuing to carry our burdens with us and for us.

believing, each moment, in the unbelievable,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Andy Mendonsa at 08:32 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

June 24, 8:30 am

i just spoke with gloria and she said that asher had a pretty restless night. they had to give him tylenol and morphene. he had actually gone 2 days without getting anything in the night. dr. boehm came in to see asher this morning and he is continuing to be optimistic about asher's condition. he expressed surprise that, given asher's injuries, he is progressing as quickly as he is. again, he said to gloria not to lose faith. i just cannot even begin to tell you how wonderful dr boehm has been to us since that first night after asher's fall when he was brought to the emergency room. please pray for dr. boehm.

actually, you could also pray for one other doctor, but for a different reason. we have yet to see an ounce of compassion coming our way from him. he comes across like a raging rhino and you can see the way that other hospital staff seem to be intimidated by him as a result of his seeming lack of compassion. at first i was pretty angered by the way that he has been coming across with us, but now i am moved to pray for him.

with the exception of this one doctor, though, our experience with every one else, especially all of asher's nurses, has been beyond belief.

please pray for asher to have a better day. the consensus is that he had a bad night because he is waking up more, which would make a lot of sense based on what we have witnessed so far in his making continued progess.

also, please pray for gloria to get some rest. it is much harder for her to do this than me, which is understandable, she is asher's mother.

thank you all eternally for continuing to love us through prayer. the effects are being seen everywhere we turn.

to borrow a term i first heard from a dear friend, wayne johns,

seeing with eternal eyes,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Leda at 12:23 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 24, 10:00 AM

i just spoke with gloria and she said that asher had a pretty restless night. they had to give him tylenol and morphene. he had actually gone 2 days without getting anything in the night. dr. boehm came in to see asher this morning and he is continuing to be optimistic about asher's condition. he expressed surprise that, given asher's injuries, he is progressing as quickly as he is. again, he said to gloria not to lose faith. i just cannot even begin to tell you how wonderful dr boehm has been to us since that first night after asher's fall when he was brought to the emergency room. please pray for dr. boehm.

actually, you could also pray for one other doctor, but for a different reason. we have yet to see an ounce of compassion coming our way from him. he comes across like a raging rhino and you can see the way that other hospital staff seem to be intimidated by him as a result of his seeming lack of compassion. at first i was pretty angered by the way that he has been coming across with us, but now i am moved to pray for him.

with the exception of this one doctor, though, our experience with every one else, especially all of asher's nurses, has been beyond belief.

please pray for asher to have a better day. the consensus is that he had a bad night because he is waking up more, which would make a lot of sense based on what we have witnessed so far in his making continued progess.

also, please pray for gloria to get some rest. it is much harder for her to do this than me, which is understandable, she is asher's mother.

thank you all eternally for continuing to love us through prayer. the effects are being seen everywhere we turn.

to borrow a term i first heard from a dear friend, wayne johns,

seeing with eternal eyes,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Andy Mendonsa at 10:20 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 23, 2005

June 23, 6 pm

"Thanks be to God." i haven't often heard gloria say that, but in the last few days it has been regularly spoken by her. she said it over the phone to me just a few minutes ago when i told her that susan, the representative from the Shepherd Spinal Center in Atlanta, had called to say that our insurance company had approved asher to go there for medical care (in order to get him ready for rehab). susan had just gotten a call from our medical case worker in nashville who has been assigned to us by our insurance company giving her the good news. she also told me that it is rare for insurance companies to approve coverage for medical care with them. the only reason they generally do it is if the patient seems like they have potential for improvement. so, thanks be to God, another amazing prayer has been answered, and it looks like they may have a room for asher as early as monday.

gloria also shared with me that, this afternoon, asher discovered the red light on his finger monitor that records his blood oxygen levels. somehow he managed to get his hand in front of his face and she said that he just kept staring at the red light on his finger like he was in amazement.

dr. boehm, asher's neuro doctor came by today, too, and he got to hear asher making noises in his throat (he does this quite a lot now, and even sounds like he is trying to say words). after listening to him for a little while, dr. boehm said that he felt like asher might actually be able to start talking soon. that would be so incredibly wonderful to be able to talk to him and have him be able to verbally respond.

again, we are so tremendously indebted to each one of you for being so faithful to pray, and to also rejoice with us as those prayers are being answered throughout each day.

continued blessings on you all,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Leda at 10:24 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 23, 3:00 PM

i spent the night in asher's room last night and he did really well. this was the first night that they have not had to give him any pain medication in order to help him rest. asher has been having a pretty restful day today. gloria and hadrienne have been there since about 11 AM. he is still trying to talk, but all that is coming out is a groaning kind of sound. this is not due to pain, though, it is just all the sound that he can form for now.

the representative from shepherd spinal center in atlanta is still working on getting him in. what we understand is that once he is approved he will be moved there very quickly. quick is what we are praying for, and at the same time we are also praying to be able to put everything in order here. i know that God has taken care of every detail so far, and i am learning to rely on the fact that all the details that need to be taken care of here will be worked out, and so i need to stop worrying (easier said than done).

keep praying for asher to be able to pass his swallow test. we have seen him swallow, but he has to do it in front of the folks who conduct the test.

also, please pray for the skate board competition benefit for asher on july 1 and 2. i know that all of those who came up with this idea and who are working hard to organize it would appreciate your prayers. they have all been such an incredible encouragement to us, as have all of you.

continuing to give thanks in all things,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Andy Mendonsa at 03:28 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 22, 2005

June 22, 7:30 pm

before i left this morning for the hospital gloria called and said a speech therapist had been to see asher and she suggested we get him some lollipops and popsicles in order to entice his tongue out of the back of his mouth and to help him practice swallowing. as soon as i got to the hospital i found asher sitting up, so gloria dipped one of the lollipops i brought in water, touched his lips, and then held it out in front of them to see if he would stick out his tongue and lick it. it was amazing, he did it immediately. then she told him to put his tongue back in his mouth and swallow. and he did that immediately, as well. this went on an on for about 15 or 20 minutes. he really loved the wet popsicle and we really really loved watching him stick out his tongue so we could rub it across the top of it. how grateful we are for continuing answers to prayers.

the representative from the shepherd spinal care center in atlanta happened to come back by while this was going on and she had a chance to see him do this for herself (her timing was perfect). being able to swallow is a big factor in his assessment for rehab. this means that he will be able to eat food pretty soon.

we also found out that shepherd has a pre-rehab care center that asher could go to until he is ready for full rehab. insurance companies don't always want to pay for patients to be in their pre-rehab care center, so please pray that they will approve asher to go there. that was being checked on today, and we are waiting to hear the insurance company's decision.

it seems like asher is really becoming more and more aware. he was a lot more restless today, which we are fairly certain is not related to pain. this is a good sign, but it is also really hard to see him appearing so frustrated and not able to rest very well.

a very special visitor, george thompson, came to visit asher today and to pray for him. george was my first pastor and, perhaps, one of the most caring and loving men i have ever met in my life. i have really wanted george to be able to come and be with us and to pray for asher, but i felt like if this should happen that george would really feel led to come, because God had put it on his heart. sure enough, i got a call from george yesterday telling me that he was going to come to chattanooga today to see asher and to pray for him. george is 75, now, and he drove several hours by himself in order to come do this.

i am more thankful to God than i even know how to express for letting me have a pastor like george when i came to the place in my life when i made the decision to devote my life to serve God in whatever way He would lead me. what george instilled in me at that time was the necessity of dependence on God through prayer in all that we do. especially those very important decisions that we are faced with throughout our lifetimes. there are obviously more benefits to operating this way than there is time, or space, to write about, but i think what immediately comes to mind right now for me is that prayer slows us down (us, not God) when we really take prayer seriously to the point of wanting God to answer it rather than ourselves. i keep having to remind myself that it was the tortoise that won the race and not the hare.

i could go on and on about all that God used george in my life to teach me that is still at work in me today, but i know that even the little i have shared with you already, would probably be an embarrassment to george. he is such a humble man that he really shies away from getting credit for anything he does as a servant of God.

in just a few minutes, before i go back to the hospital, i am going to speak to the mission team that is working with widows harvest this week. paul yu, the youth pastor, asked me if i could come by one night and do this. this seems to be the only opportunity i will have to go. i have such a deep appreciation for this group coming to serve widows in chattanooga in this way that it is truly a privilege for me to be able to be with them, even if just for a little while, tonight.

our continued thanks and prayers of blessing on each of you for continuing to hold us up.

praise and thanksgiving,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Leda at 08:36 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 22, 10:00 AM

i am about to leave for the hospital. i called gloria and she said asher had a pretty good night and is already sitting up in his chair this morning. a woman from Shepherds Spinal Center in atlanta came in this morning to begin the evaluation process for asher. this is where we have been praying that asher would be able to go. there are a number of things that will need to be worked out in order for him to be able to do this. please pray for us in this process.

blessings,
andy mendonsa

Posted by Andy Mendonsa at 10:55 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

June 21, 11:30 PM

sorry for the delays in postings today. i spent the night in asher's room last night and he had a pretty good night. he seemed tired this morning and was not able, or would not respond to the commands that he had the day before (closing his eyes and sticking out his tongue). this was not discouraging at all, though. in fact the rest of the day was all very encouraging. his trauma doctor ordered his trach opening to be reduced so that it could be capped. what this means is that asher is off the wall ct oxygen line. he just has a small amount of oxygen going to him in a nose line. this means that he is breathing through his nose and mouth now, and his blood oxygen level is staying between 95 and 100 percent. amazing. we are so incredibly thankful.

they finally were able to get asher sitting back up today. soon after sitting him up they took him down to take a swallow test in order to see if he can start taking food orally. he did not due well on that today basically due to his tongue being at the back of his throat, but they did find that all his muscles that it takes to swallow are all in good working order. we have actually seen him swallowing, but for some reason he didn't do it when he went for his test.

peter boehm, asher's neuro doctor came by to see asher today while gloria was in the room. he was very encouraging and told her not to lose faith. dr boehm saw asher in the emergency room the night he fell, and he was the one who first broke the news to us about the severity of asher's injuries. there has always been such a kindness and genuine display of concern by him to us for asher that has helped us through this in so many ways. Lord bless him.

asher's trauma doctor, who had his trach opening changed today, also said that it is really time for asher to be moved to another facility that can begin working on asher's rehabilitation. please pray for this process and the doors to open for the best place for asher to be next. this will be a very big and important move and will probably mean going out-of-town.

things seem to be moving so fast since asher left icu. even his nurses today commented on the fact that they can see improvement in asher just in the short time that he has been in this unit. also, since they put the cap on his trach, he is now able to make sound. he hasn't been able to form words yet, but it seems like he is trying really hard to do this. it is just so incredible to even hear him making sounds now after not hearing any sounds at all coming out of him since may 23rd.

when i left him to come back home with hadrienne tonight (gloria is staying with him) he had begun to raise his left arm up higher and more deliberately than he has ever done so far. it seems like he is doing this out of frustration, like he is waking up more and consequently he is more aware of what his condition is. many coma patients, as they are coming out of their comas and becoming more responsive, hit a level of consciousness where they can be really angry and abusive. please pray that asher will not have to go through this, and can channel that anger and abusiveness into working in more positive ways with those who are trying to help him to get better.

Lord bless you all for keeping the prayer fires burning brightly for our family,

ready for a good nights sleep,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Andy Mendonsa at 10:55 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 20, 2005

June 20, 8:45 pm

it has been a much better day, today, than yesterday. You know we often say that there is a calm before the storm, but I have found it to be more accurate that there is a storm before the calm. Which makes sense. Who would pray and ask God to bring a storm when you are in a calm? There are also a number of incidences when jesus’ disciples were in a literal storm and they cried out to God, because they were afraid, and jesus came and calmed the storm.

I can tell you that I did a good bit of crying yesterday, and in the midst of physically crying I also found myself crying out to God to calm the day’s storm.

Gloria spent the night with asher last night. I guess it would be more accurate to say that she watched asher throughout the night and got about 20 minutes of sleep sometime this morning. It is my privilege to be with him tonight.

Gloria got to meet asher’s physical and occupational therapist along with his respiratory therapist this morning. It was really helpful for her to get to ask questions, and even better to get answers.

Several wonderful things happened this morning during a couple of his times of therapy. They took the end piece off his oxygen tube. The end piece is what causes pressure to build up and sustained for him at a certain level. The level has remained the same, but it is not being delivered to him under pressure. If he keeps his blood oxygen levels up where they are supposed to be without this pressure, they will soon be able to take him off of oxygen completely. Given that we were told that he might not ever come off of oxygen, we are just thanking the Lord.

During his physical therapy session asher also responded to 2 commands. He shut his eyes and held them shut and he also stuck out his tongue. The day was pretty much like this all day. Thank you Lord.

All of those who came to take care of asher throughout the day were really wonderful. It was hard, at first to adjust to the new room and surroundings when they moved asher yesterday afternoon, but by the end of the day, today, we really felt much more comfortable.

Also, throughout the day, most of asher’s nurses from icu came by to visit him. It was like seeing family. I just can’t tell you how wonderful everyone was up in the icu unit where asher stayed 1 day short of a month. Each one of his nurses was truly a gift from God to us.

I also want to share a note that we received in the mail today from a dear friend of ours, Catherine, who had a dream about asher very recently and she wanted to share it with us through this note since she had to leave town on business soon after.

“dearest friends.

Here’s my dream of this morning. A toddler I knew had been hurt, but someone told me that his cuts and wounds had been healed. I went to see this little boy and as I was being shown how much better he was doing, I realized that he was walking, in the lock step fashion that beginning walkers use. Great joy flooded over me and I danced around saying “asher is walking! Asher can walk again.”

It leaves me speechless when I think about the ways that God is so obviously revealing His love and concern for asher and all of us by giving so many encouraging dreams and vision to others about asher and his being healed and restored. I know that it is truly because of the great outpouring of care and concern through the prayers of so many throughout the world that God is revealing in so many ways, like through dreams and visions, that our prayers are being heard and answered every moment of every day.

In luke, chapter 2, where it talks about jesus being taken to the temple to be dedicated (circumcised) on the 8th day, that joseph and mary met 2 people, simeon and anna the prophetess. Both were equally significant in that God used them to be witnesses to joseph and mary in order to, again, confirm to them who there son really was.

What is so interesting about anna, is that she was a widow, and had been one for 84 years, and her reputation was that she “prayed and fasted in the temple night and day.” She truly is the model in the Bible for the significant role that widows are to have in the world today. Another thing that is very interesting about anna is that she was a prophetess, and her father was phanuel, who was from the tribe of asher.

The only reason that I bring this up is that so many of the dreams and visions that have been shared with us about asher, from the very night that he fell until now, have come from women, and in the very depths of my being I believe that something very profound is being revealed to us by this fact. Lord give us eyes to see and ears to hear and your will made known.

With great thanksgiving,

Andy mendonsa

Posted by Leda at 11:48 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Email from friend in Africa

June 20
9:30 AM

i just received this email after sending the most recent update, but wanted to include this from our general servant for widows harvest africa, joshua atieno, as an encouragement to us all:

"hello my brother Andy.

we are following very closely with prayer, the progress of your son asher. widows here are on their knees praying for you. Mombasa widows in kenya have started their prayers by yesterday. pray for Abigael she will be going to migori near kenya Tanzania borders to put widows there to pray and probably she may go to Tanzania if times permits. I will be taking care of the house in her absence. She is very much touched with your sons situation and she has developed a system of wakingup at 3am in the morning to pray. The lord will heal your son.

In his service to widows africa

servant joshua Atieno"

Posted by Leda at 09:54 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 20, 9am

gloria was able to spend the night in asher's room last night. when i spoke with her this morning she said he did really well in the night. they suctioned his lungs twice, but didn't get a lot of fluid. seems his lungs are doing better. please keep praying for them to stay clear. he also has not had a temperature over the last couple of days, which is really wonderful also. i could really tell that he was more stable after my time with him last night after they had moved him to his intermediate care room. it is amazing the difference between this unit and icu. that has been a hard adjustment for us, but everyone has been really wonderful so far.

we will be taking turns staying with asher throughout the day and night. please pray for gloria to get rested today. she said there wasn't much chance of sleeping last night. i know that we will work this into a schedule and we are very grateful that a number of friends have volunteered to relieve us here from time to time.

i also want to ask you to pray for a mission team that we have working with the widows ministry this week. they are from 7th reformed church, in grand rapids, michigan. their youth pastor is paul yu. unfortunately, i have not had much of a chance to be with them since they arrived saturday night. i went by briefly last night to introduce myself. they asked me for some prayer requests for asher that they could be praying about during the week and while i was giving them i just broke down and had to leave (i know it was because it was father's day). earlier in the day i had experienced something very similar, and had decided that i just couldn't go and meet with the group, but then felt better and thought that i could. i am very glad that i did go. it was so wonderful to be able to meet everyone who has come from such a long way off to help us out for a week. they will be working with dick mason (our projects director) during the day doing construction projects on widow's homes and in the night they will be at the Church of the first born (alfred johnson is the pastor) working with kelly johnson, who is the head of their summer enrichment program, interacting with her youth doing Bible clubs. please pray that they have a safe trip as well as one that allows them to leave feeling they accomplished what they came here for.

please keep praying for asher's brain to be restored. we know that he hears us and that he is trying very hard to respond to commands. please pray for him to not be afraid and to be filled with God's hope.

at around 8 PM this evening it will have been 28 days since asher's fall. we are blessed and extremely thankful for all God is continuing to do in asher to heal his body and the hope He gives to us each day through His mercy and grace.

may the Lord continue to pour out His blessings upon each of you.

figuring it out as we go,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Leda at 09:53 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

June 19, 2005

June 19, 6:30 pm

i just left asher. they have finally moved him into an intermediary care room. it is a mixed blessing. earlier in the day, when he was still in icu they had him sitting up again. we tried all morning to get him to respond to one command. we kept asking him to stick his tongue out. he was not able to do it, but he did seem to try and do it with a great deal of diligence. we really felt like he understood us, but his doctors had already told us, due to his brain injuries, that he might not be able to get his body to do what he was telling his brain to do. the brain can find new routes to send messages through, though. we are really hopeful that will begin to occur soon.

it honestly has been a pretty rough father's day for me. i am very thankful for time i was able to spend with my daughter hadrienne today. she took me out to lunch and i cannot even begin to tell you how special that was. i know i am biased, but hadrienne is one of the most amazing people i have ever known. God has truly blessed gloria and i with 2 of the most amazing children parents could ever be blessed with.

continuing to cry out to God,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Leda at 10:36 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 19, 8:30 am

asher rested comfortably during the night. he had one difficult time while we were with him last night, which was probably due to his being very tired because of sitting up for the first time yesterday. please continue to pray for asher's healing, and our strength.

praying for each of you to have a peaceful day of joy and rest,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Leda at 11:08 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 18, 2005

June 18, 2:55 pm

what a surprise, when we walked into the room to visit asher this morning, to find asher sitting up in a chair (special chair that reclines flat also) with his upper body brace on (they call it a turtle shell). he sat up for almost 2 hours with no difficulty, before he started getting tired and a little agitated. he still has not woken up any more (that we can tell), but while he was sitting up he didn't show any signs of difficulties with his lungs filling up, either. it was genuinely another gift from the Lord for asher to be able to take another forward move like this.

he is still in icu waiting for another room to open up.

so incredibly grateful,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Leda at 11:49 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

June 18, 9:00 am

we received some wonderful news yesterday. dr. ploger, one of asher's trauma doctors, came in and told us that he was going to write the orders for asher to be moved to an intermediate care room on another floor in the hospital. now we are waiting for a room in this unit to open up. it is hard for us to believe that asher has been in icu for 25 days, and that his overall condition has improved that much, and even though he is still not awake and he is still severely impaired due to his injuries, he is and will continue to get better. that, i am absolutely convinced of.

i received an email yesterday from a woman i have never met, becky barnes. she lives in texas and first contacted me just a few weeks before asher's accident. she has started a widows ministry called Highest Integrity and she contacted me through our Widows Harvest web site to let me know that she had found us. becky has now had 2 dreams about asher. the first one was several weeks ago. she saw a mountain lion in a tree about to attack a young man. when the mountain lion jumped down out of the tree it turned into a larger fierce lion. she said she had a squirt bottle filled with water and she squirted it on the lion and the lion immediately backed off. she was amazed at how easily he was repelled. she was convinced, later, that the young man was asher.

this was her second dream and she sent it to me in response to the vision she read about in yesterday's posting that carol marie had. i am just going to include her entire email to me.

" Dear Andy,

I read Asher's update and dream just now by the intercessor. Funny, that you can have a dream and not understand it completely, then the revelation comes later. I had another dream two days ago that I saw a man in a suit. He was blind-folded, his hands were tied by a simple rope in front of him, and he was bare foot. There was a thin layer of concrete about a half an inch thick around the base of his feet and toes. Another woman was near him and we saw him being picked up and dropped feet first into a triple deep pool. She dove in to rescue him. I knew that she couldn't do it alone, so I dove in as well. He had sunk very deep, but we were working fast to rescue him. She was pulling him up, while I was breaking the concrete off of his feet and toes. The concrete was just crumbling under my fingers. As we were moving upward the dream ended. I now believe that he was Asher.

What struck me about the dream is how simply that he was tied. And how shallow the depth of the concrete and how it crumbled with just a little effort. Almost as easy as breaking off hard mud. I believe that the Lord is showing the REALITY of his injuries and what the Lord is not going to allow. It is all simpler than it seems or looks.

It may be a blessing that he hasn't woken up yet. Then you will have to deal with his fear and his faith level. Although I know that you can't stand it.....

May the Lord bless you and keep you, may His face shine upon you and give you peace,

Not giving up!
Becky Barnes"

What has amazed me about this dream is the fact that the man in the dream is wearing a suit and asher loves to wear suits, or even a sports jacket with a tie, or just a tie. none of which have we ever bought for asher in his entire life, or have we required him to wear any of them.

after i had read becky's dream through several times i also was suddenly struck by the fact that every place that the man was bound is the place that asher's injuries are most evident. asher can't move his legs or hands and even though asher's eyes have been wide open for days, it is like he can't see us, even though i believe that he hears us. his toes, though, are the only place that we have seen any movement (which is probably only a reflex response at this point), which is the place in her dream where the man's feet are in concrete, but the concrete crumbled when she began to break it off. giving thanks to God!

I received another very interesting email yesterday from Mark Peoples. he and his wife jennifer were our neighbors for years before moving to South Carolina. mark and jennifer have 2 wonderful little girls, grayson and emma. grayson, the oldest (4) has been praying fervently for asher everyday since they told her about his accident. they have told her that when he wakes up they will bring her to see him, so that she can meet this stranger she has been praying for. this is what mark wrote to me yesterday.

" Hey Buddy. I know that this is "off the wall".. but after reading your post for today I had to write. See... Grayson got up early one morning and told us LAST week that Asher was going to "wake up" next Friday, and that she wanted to make sure to tell us so that we could plan to go and she could see him. So now get this... last night we're saying our prayers and she asks God to "wake Asher up tomorrow so I can see him". And I'm saying that this came OUT OF THE BLUE - without provocation. Wow. Anyhow, I hope the big event comes very soon. I just had to share that.
Love you guys! See you soon
Mark, Jen, Grace, and Em"

No, asher did not wake up yesterday, at least not in the sense of his being able to obey commands or to show visual recognition of us. grayson may have the friday right, just the wrong one (who knows). i don't know, but all week i have had the sense that something significant would happen on friday and the fact that asher received the orders to be moved to a less critical care unit was tremendous news after 25 days of being in intensive care. this mean, obviously, that his condition has improved in tremendous ways. it also means that we can be in the room with him, now throughout the day and night (even sleeping there). i am just more thankful, again, than i even know how to express.

Another overwhelming set of circumstances that i wanted to share with you this today is about an upcoming event that has been organized by the owner of the skate park in chattanooga (where asher has been skating and hanging out for years) along with a number of asher's amazing friends (who are also all skaters) that will take place at the chattown skate park on July 1 and 2. this event will be a skate board competition that is being promoted as a help to asher and the mendonsa's. i can't tell you how completely humbling this is for gloria, hadrienne and me to see these guys demonstrating such a deep and sincere love for both asher and us in this way, as well as so many other ways since asher was first injured.

if you want to find out more information about this benefit competition you can go to: www.chattownskatepark.com.

goodness, i think i really have to stop now. as i have been writing this i am just finding myself so completely overwhelmed by the countless ways that God is continuing to show us His amazing love through all of you that i just can't write anymore.

may the Lord bless all of you in the ways that He is blessing us,

in His immeasurable love,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Leda at 09:19 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 17, 2005

June 16, 11:30 pm

"In God's time asher will wake up," carolmarie smith, the ministry coordinator at the widows ministry center in sevierville, tenn. said to us this morning after she prayed for asher. she had 2 visions of asher this week. the first one was of a young man on a bed that was underwater. she said he seemed like he was drowning, but he was peaceful. then she read the update i posted earlier in the week where i had said that asher seemed like he was drowning, because his lungs were full of fluid. she also said that when she looked at asher's pictures she realized he had been the one in her vision (she didn't know about asher when she first had the vision and only learned about him a short while later). in her second vision that she had several days later she saw asher on a bed again, but this time she saw him sit up in bed on his own. we are praying that it be so.

Carolmarie shared these visions with gloria, hadrienne and me when she came to chattanooga this morning to bring us a basket of snacks, drinks and cards from all the widows at the widows ministry center in sevierville. the basket was so big and heavy it was almost too heavy for me to carry by myself. there are just no words to describe how deeply touched we were by this. after visiting with us and asher she prayed for him and us feeling, after her last vision, that the Lord wanted her to do this.

David Baker (the one who crushed his hand) and his wife denise were also in the room and carolmarie had special prayer with him for his hand to be restored. what a special gift she was to all of us.

asher is steadily continuing to improve. they checked his blood gases this morning to see what they were after being off the ventilator and they were all great, which means that he is breathing fine on his own. they also removed one of his monitor wires today (something to do with his chest), and may remove his arterial monitoring wire tomorrow. one of his doctors (dr. ploger) came in this afternoon, and also said that asher may actually be able to be moved to an intermediate care room in the next day or two. after 24 days, i can't tell you how amazing it is to hear those words.

asher's temperature was normal when we left him this evening and he was resting really comfortably. in fact, this was the first time i can remember him sleeping peacefully the entire time we have been with him during our night time visit with him. usually, at some point during our visits he shows signs of distress. i am certain that part of this has been due to his trying so hard to wake up, and being very frustrated at not being able to. asher has always had a pretty high frustration level, so you can imagine how frustrating being in this state of a come is for him. communication has always been very important to him.

when i asked dr. ploger about asher's blood count and whether he would need any more blood he said that his count was up and he didn't think he would need any at this point. i told him we had gotten the word out that blood could be donated to replace the blood that asher has used and he said that they have a shortage of 0 negative, and it would help tremendously if some people with this blood type could come out and donate right now as well.

today, i think was a really good one for all of us, including asher. it was a day of continued good news and unexpected visitors. in addition to carol marie, peggy wiseman, her granddaughter sophie rose, and her sister hilda hecklenberg came to visit us at the ronald macdonald house. gloria and hadrienne were busy, so i had a wonderful visit with them by myself. gertrude gaston, the co-founder of widows harvest ministries was peggy and hilda's mother, and they have been just like family to me and my family over the years. there are really no words at all for me to express what a very special gift from the Lord this was to be able to spend time with them today, except to just give thanks.

asher's friends are still coming to see asher and us almost every day, sometimes several times a day, and when they can't come, usually because of work, they will try and call us to see how asher is doing. they have become as much a part of our family now as our own children, which has been another gift that we find ourselves giving thanks to God for them every day.

i could really go on and on not only about even more ways that we found ourselves blessed today, but it is late and i know that i need to get some sleep.

one more thought. i know over the past few days i have posted fewer updates during the day, but that has truly been a good thing. it has meant that things are stable and even steadily improving. if there are any changes for the better, or some crisis that comes up unexpectedly i will post updates sooner than at the beginning and end of each day.

blessings to you all, and may you be greatly comforted by the God of all creation.

feeling some relief,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Leda at 09:32 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

June 16, 2005

June 15, 11:30 pm

after 2 days of struggles, both ashers and ours, today has been filled with new challenges and breakthroughs. the new challenges have to do with being told by one of asher's trauma doctors that in the next week or so decisions will have to be made concerning the next steps for asher's overall treatment and where that will be done. there are several factors that will determine what his options will be. one factor will be whether he is still on a ventilator and the second will be whether he is awake and able to respond to commands.

we weren't expecting to hear that he might have to be moved to another facility, probably in the city, if either or both of these factors has not changed. that was a little unsettling, to say the least. our hope has been that when he leaves the hospital that he would be able to go for rehab at a spinal cord injury rehab facility. instead, what we are hearing is that he may have to go to an assisted care facility until he is off the vent. and he is awake and able to respond to commands.

the trauma case worker at the hospital met with us today and has begun the process for putting a plan together for asher's next potential move. she also put us in touch with the service coordinator, patsy nickle, for the chattanooga area brain injury association. we had the opportunity to meet with patsy today and it was like the lights were turned on for us for the first time since asher was first injured. i sincerely wish that we could have met with her 3 weeks ago. i cannot tell you the huge difference it would have made in helping us to understand asher's brain injuries in a more comprehensive way. at the same time, i count our meeting with patsy today as both providential as well as God's timing.

please pray for us to have quick understanding as well as to act wisely on asher's behalf as we go through this process for preparing ourselves for the necessary changes that may be taking place for asher in the not too distant future.

some really great news occurred for asher today. they removed his ventilator. all he has now is an oxygen hose attached to the wall that only produces a minimal output of oxygen (less than an oxygen mask). we are really giving thanks for this amazing improvement in his breathing abilities. this will also factor in considerably as decisions are made for the next steps in his recovery process.

according to one of asher neuro doctors, who spoke with gloria this morning, he believes that asher is really trying to wake up. i think we saw this clearly demonstrated by asher throughout the day. if he wakes up soon this will so vastly improve asher's options for being able to go to a rehab center for physical therapy both for his brain injuries as well as his spinal injuries. otherwise he will have to first go to some other type of recovery care facility, and the options for those are not very many, nor necessarily good. we really need for him to wake up.

as far as his temperature. it has been between 100 and 101.5 throughout the day. this is still much better than yesterday's high of 104. please keep praying for his temperature to go down.

his lungs are still filling up, but he did not seem to be in as great a distress today like he was yesterday. i think they have really been staying on top of keeping them clear today.

gloria, hadrienne and i continue to give thanks to all of you for being so faithful to keep us and asher in your prayers. we are in our 4th week since asher's fall and i know that many of you, as well as me and my family had hoped that greater healing would have taken place by now. please don't be discouraged. we are not. everyday we continue to see God work through this in so many ways that we could not have possibly imagined and i know that He will continue to touch lives as God's purposes continue to be made clear to all of us as we all continue in this together.

God promises to never leave us nor forsake us, and I can positively say that He has not left our sides for even a second at any time since may 23, when we received the call that asher had been seriously injured. nor has God ever left us at any other time in our lives, either, it is just that there are times and circumstances that seem so grave to us that we have a difficult time recognizing Him because the fog of our circumstances hinders our vision. perhaps, that is what happened when the disciples on several occasions, after Jesus was resurrected from the dead and He appeared to them, they did not recognize Him at first either. maybe it was because they felt abandoned and in the pain of that abandonment they faltered in their faith and were filled with doubt. at least for me, when that is the case in my life i find that it is much harder to recognize God's presence than when everything is going my way (which is not necessarily His way).

this morning i also shared with you about denise and dave baker, and dave's accident. i spoke with denise this afternoon and she shared with me more details about what happened. denise had come to the hospital earlier to bring one of the widows (anniebell) in our widow's prayer ministry to the hospital to visit asher. on her way home she noticed that one of her wheels was making a noise, so when she got home she asked dave to check on it. while he had the car jacked up with the tire off he had his hand underneath the rotor when the car fell off the jack and his hand was both burned and crushed under the rotor.

miraculously, not a single bone in his hand was broken or fractured, but his muscles and nerves were severely damaged. the doctor said it could take up to a year before he might get any feeling back in it. please pray for God to heal and restore his hand.

continuing to hold on,
andy mendonsa

Posted by Leda at 09:03 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

June 15, 2005

June 15, 8 am

yesterday asher had a couple of very stressful times, during our morning visit and then during our evening visit. what we figured out in the morning visit was that when his lungs were being suctioned only the right one was getting cleaned out. his left one was almost full and so he was really struggling to breathe. it was like he was drowning. once we figured this out and they suctioned out his left lung he really rested very peacefully. during the evening visitation his lungs had filled back up, but since we had figured out the problem they were able to suction out both sides of his lungs and he almost immediately went to sleep. we are so thankful to the Lord for revealing this. it was truly evidence of His had at work here.

once they can sit him up for a while each day this will really help the collection of fluid on his lungs. right now, though, this continues to be a problem as well as infection setting in. the recent culture they did on his lungs shows signs of infections, and they are treating it with some pretty strong antibiotics.

in addition to praying for asher and me and my family today, please pray for denise and dave baker. denise has been a long and very faithful volunteer with widows harvest, even working for us for a little over a year, several years ago. denise also has a ministry to single mothers.

last night denise's husband dave was working on her car and i don't know any of the details, but his hand was crushed according to one report i was able to get this morning. they are at the doctors right now from what i understand.

denise and dave have been at our sides throughout the time since asher was first injured and now our hearts are breaking for them. as soon as i know more about dave's condition i will let you know.

living in God's amazing grace,

andy mendonsa

Posted by Leda at 09:02 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

June 14, 2005

June 14, 1:30 pm

asher is not having a good day again today. we have figured out, at least for today, that his lungs keep filling up pretty quickly and he is showing very obvious signs of distress as a result of this fluid build up. since we are around him day in and day out there are things that we can pick up on that his medical help sometimes is not as aware of. it is really so hard to watch him struggling like this. please continue to pray for his lungs/breathing.

we are very thankful that his temperature was about 100 when we were in with him at our 10 AM visit with him. please keep praying for this to stay down.

i just received this email from Joshua Atieno. Joshua is the director for widows harvest africa and his wife abigael is over widows harvest kenya. i was just so blessed by this i wanted to share it with all of you as a part of this update.

holding on,

andy mendonsa

" Hello beloved brother Andy,
I came here in Nairobi city to speak to our widows in
Nairobi about your sons condition and to put them to
pray for you and your son. I will be travelling to
Mombasa next week to make similar request to widows
there. Abigael will travell to migori suna near kenya
Tanzania border to ask widows there to pray for you
and your son. She may enter Tanzania if time
allows.Our widows are still in the church praying 24/7
and the lord i believe is hearing them. My friend , we
are with you and may this situation increase your
faith in the lord. I pray in tears and even at this
time my tears are running over and i need stop here.
may the lord show you his will in this condition.

servant joshua Atieno
widows desk africa"

Posted by Leda at 02:59 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 14, 8:00 AM

I just got an update from mark, asher's nurse. asher continued to run a fever throughout the night and they have continued to give him tylenol and put a cooling blanket on him. yesterday's temperature of 104 was a little frightening, but it has stayed between 101 and 102 since then. it is about 101.3 this morning.

his breathing has stayed stable since his breathing crisis yesterday afternoon. the Lord continues to keep us feeling helpless and dependent on him.

even though they gave him 2 more units of blood yesterday, his blood count is still a little low, which may mean that they will give him more blood today. we have had several inquiries about donating blood and that would be great. i have been told you can give and specify it to replace what asher has used already (11 units).

all day yesterday i was very aware that so many of the people that we have met in the last 3 weeks either in the icu waiting room or at the Ronald McDonald House have had family members whose conditions are improving and they have either been able to leave the hospital or have been moved to other facilities for rehab. you can't imagine how difficult this is. it isn't that i haven't been able to rejoice with them in their good news, but I can't help but be a little more than envious.

last night when gloria and i were leaving the hospital as we were walking back across the street, apparently gloria was having the same experience i was concerning the improvements that others, all around us, were seeing with their family members. this was the first time we had been able to talk about it, though. on the day that marked the 3 weeks since asher's fall (about 8:15 PM, Monday, May 23), it was a very difficult day.

more and more the Lord is focusing my prayers on the recovery of asher's mental capabilities, as well as his over all protection. since asher has been opening his eyes he has also been showing a lot of movement with his head and face. it apparently is characteristic of people with head trauma to turn their heads from side to side and display various facial movements. not to do this would be a bad sign, we have been told, but to do this for too long can also be a bad sign. we have come to realize that there is always a reoccurring pattern with his head and facial movements, and because of his eyes being open, but with just blank stares, we can't help but hurt inside as we watch him day after day struggling in this condition. we just want our baby back so badly. and asher would be so mad if he knew i was calling him our baby.

the longer this goes on the more i find myself wanting to ask the question that all of us want to ask: why God? i continue to refuse to ask this question, though, because i already know the answer, and i think that everyone in these kinds of tragic situations generally always do if they have any kind of faith in God at all.

for me, at least right now, to let myself ask this question, would be to jump off the path that God is taking us down through all of this. it would, in a sense, lead to the shutting myself off from the very source of hope that is so evidently carrying us through each moment of each day. to seriously ask God this question would not only allow doubt to set in, but it would also attach blame for this happening