May 31, 2005
May 31, 3 pm
Andy just called saying that surgery ended about noon. They were able to put filters in for blood clots in his right femur and were able to doing repair work on his femur and clean it up alot. The Orthopedic surgeons were happy with all they were able to do. Ashers temperature is down a bit and that is good.
They will likely to the trach on Thursday as well as install a peg (feeding tube in his side). His vitals are all good and the family is encouraged.
Please give thanks for the progress made so far. Your prayers are felt and Andy says he feels stronger because of them.
Posted by Leda at 03:41 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
May 31
i am on my way to the hospital. gloria called just a few minutes ago (7:45 am) and they are going to take asher to surgery soon. we knew this was coming up, but we didn't know when. there was not communication from the doctors to us yesterday at all. they are supposed to do a trach, put the blood filters in to catch clots, put a peg in his stomach for feeding, and remove the brace on his femur in order to get ready for that surgery. it will probably last about 4 hours. please pray for all these procedures that will be done this morning. we are more than a little upset that we didn' have more notice.
trusting Him,
andy mendons
Posted by Leda at 10:30 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
May 30, 2005
May 30, 2:19 pm
May 30, 2005
Had a good visit with asher this morning. got a call earlier from an old friend, tim english, who also worked with the widows ministry last year taking care of widows' lawn care needs. he had just returned from honduras yesterday so he didn't know about asher. it was wonderful to see him a little later at the hospital along with his mother-in-law, Grace. Before they left Grace shared with me that last monday night she had had a dream (i think she said dream) about someone falling. she said this was unusual for her to have this occur, and that she didn't know who it was or what it even meant. then when tim and jenny came back she found out about asher and his fall.
for some of you this may sound unusual, but i remember a few years back when my daughter, hadrienne, kept having this feeling one morning that there was a baby that was having trouble. she even told her friends at school about it, and when she came home that afternoon she also told us. we found out a short while after that one of my cousin suzanne's infant twins was having some serious problems and required surgery.
i am just as guilty as everyone else of discounting the ways that God moves in people beyond the physical realm. my mother had shared with me last monday, earlier in the day, that she and a close friend, judy, had started fasting and praying for the widows ministry, because finances have been really difficult since the first of the year. she said that they both had tremendous struggles fasting over the weekend, and were hoping that monday would be better. i told my mom that i had been fasting for the same things for almost 2 weeks, and Monday seemed to actually be a better day for me.
You know, sometimes you think that you are praying, and even fasting for one thing, but God has something completely different in mind. i know that our struggles in fasting and even Grace's dream have all contributed to a much greater purpose in all of this. all i can say is that i am very thankful, both for all of God's provisions in this as well as that I have so much faith and trust in God for His outcomes that will come about when it is His right time.
Good news. they removed the "bolt" from his head. this was the sensor they put through his skull to monitor his inner cranial pressure, because of the swelling on the front part of his brain. it was a pretty nasty looking thing, so it is really wonderful not to have to look at it as well as being conscious of the numbers that it was reporting. the reason they removed it was that his numbers that reveal the pressure on his brain had been at a low enough rate, long enough, that they were not worried about that area any more.
we signed the releases today for them to do a trach, put the filters or screens above is legs in his midsection, that will keep clots from getting to his heart, to put in a peg in his side (for feeding) and finally, but not least, to repair his broken leg.
the leg will be done last, most likely, and i think they will begin these operations tomorrow and will probably finish by thursday. i will let you know as soon as i know times and days.
there is still his mid-back that has to be operated on, but they are saving that for last. that will be the most difficult operation to do and so they need to get everything else secured.
we are trying, now, to get rest in the day when we can. i am going to try and get a little nap before going to the hospital. we have been up from 7 to 12,1,2, and 3 am each day since monday. we are all really feeling it now.
thanks for checking,
andy mendonsa
for the family
Posted by Leda at 03:11 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
May 30, 2005 8:35 AM
When we left asher last night he had started a fever again. it was 101. he seemed more responsive throughout the day, though. we even saw some little slits in his eyelids. it seems like he is really trying to wake up. we also got a treat towards the end of the afternoon. amy, one of his very wonderful and caring nurses said that a larger room had opened up and that she could move asher into. it is the largest sized room that they have in icu and it is unbelievable how much more cheeful his new room is, in addition to being almost 3 times as large as the one he was in, and it has a nice big window in it.
it is just the very little things throughout the day that help us to keep going. My step-mother suzanne and her friend frank came on friday, the day of his operation, and were able to stay until sunday. that same day gloria's roommate, Rhonda, from college (asbury) showed up in the icu waiting room unexpectedly. she had flown in from Iowa. then yesterday, our former neighbors, mark and jennifer, walked into the waiting room. they now live in South Carolina, and they drove up for the day to see us.
yesterday, i came home to check on things and i had also been planning to go and get dog food. we have four dogs and they seem to eat a lot of food. just after i finished walking them, scott noll, who has been walking our dogs during the day, showed up. it turned out that he was on his way out to petsmart to get cat food, so he was able to get our dog food for us. that was such a huge thing.
it has been like that all day every day. just seeing God move through every little and big thing. there is so much prayer that it moment by moment is being realized. again, there are just no words to thank you with.
we are very tired. the end of the day, after we have come out for the last visitation time, is probably the worse time for company, calls, etc., for us, as well as first thing in the mornings. the middle of the day, after we get in to see him first thing, we are generally pretty functional.
the reality of this being a long term routine sinks in a little more each day. even though i know that we are in the light, we also feel like we are in a long tunnel, but we truly are going forward down that tunnel with a lot of hope.
please keep praying for all of the doctors on asher's team. i find that good communication is vital and i am not always certain, with so many different groups involved, that happens as well as it needs to all the time. we have been extremely happy with all of the doctors that we have gotten to meet, so far, and we have been particularly happy with all of asher's nurses. their care and concern is completely overwelming. please remember amy, shannon, darryl, jerry, mark and jennifer.
bless you all.
andy mendonsa
Posted by Leda at 09:29 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack
May 29, 2005
May 29th
asher looks better today. he had a fever last night when we left. if it got any higher (101 and it was 100.8 when we left) they were going to have to start an antibiotic. when we got there this morning his fever was normal. after we left they found out what they thought was the problem and corrected it and his fever came down.
the words that keep going through my mind are, helplessness is not hopelessness. i am looking for the things to be thankful for each day no matter how big or small and just giving thanks and not letting myself wander beyond that. i am continuing to be optimistic. i desperately want asher to be restored in every way, but God is giving me the grace to be very satisfied right now with even just grains of sand being removed from the mountain a few grains at a time.
it is hard to measure the effects the daily stress and strain is having on gloria, hadrienne and myself. i think we all feel pretty lupey at different times of the day.
the trauma group wants to put in blood filters on both legs before they operate on his legs in order to catch any bloodclots that might form and break loose in his legs. hopefully they will be able to do this tomorrow. if they do they will keep his leg surgery on schedule. if not they will have to delay it until wednesday or thursday.
his lungs are really full right now. the great danger is getting pneumonia. pray that his lungs stay free of congestion as well as the rest of his body. especially his leg until they can operate. this is a very serious break and even 50 years ago or less this would have been life threatening in and of itself.
learned this morning that one of the very dearest widows in our widow's prayer ministry passed yesterday. her name was agnes stokes and she was an ordained evangelist and devoted many years of her life to prayer and serving the Lord. she will be so incredibly missed by all of us. especially me. i had come to really depend on her prayers. over the last few years she had been living in Dalton, Georgia, where she was originally from, and coming back to chattanooga every tuesday for the widow's prayer time. she is also responsible for starting and keeping alive the Dalton widow's prayer ministry. please pray for her family. this is really hard on them. her burial is supposed to be this thursday and i don't think i will be able to be there and i can't tell you how hard this will be.
in the Lord's mercy and grace,
andy mendonsa
Posted by Leda at 04:31 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
May 28, 2005
May 28 1 p.m.
Andy just called from the hospital and was greatly encouraged. He said that he and Andy's step-mother and two of Asher's friends, whom Asher has always loved, were able to visit with him for a long time today. Asher seemed to really rally while they were there. His breathing picked up at a higher rate than the machine was creating and that in and of itself was great news. (The doctors have told them previously that he can hear them and although he cannot respond they should continue talking with him.) He also had some "determined movement" in his arm. They had a great sense that he was rallying.
Andy and Gloria also had a good talk with the surgeons and the trauma doctors who were very happy with the progress made so far.
Asher will have to have a tracheotomy (sp?) very soon because when you are on the respiratory for an extended period of time there is danger of respiratory infections and he already has some congestion.
They had previously thought that the next surgery would be on the thoracic part of his spine but now believe the next step (probably after getting the trach) will be to operate on Asher right leg which was badly damaged. That surgery may happen as early as Tuesday.
Please pray:
1. That the wound in his leg would be in good enough shape to do surgery.
2. That he does not get infection in his lungs.
3. That the family would be able to rest. They are weary.
As always, I am sure that Andy will post his own words as soon as he is able. Until then please continue to pray without ceasing!!! The family is so thankful.
Posted by Leda at 01:42 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
May 27 from Andy
Asher came out of his surgery with everything the Doctor had wanted to accomplish. He had to remove most of the C5 vertebra, because it was almost completely shattered by the fall. Metal plates were screwed into the vertebrae above and below the one that was removed in order to secure and protect his spine. He bled quite a bit and had to have 5 pints of blood as well as blood platelets.
I asked the doctor if he was happy with the outcome and he said that he was and that there were no surprises or disappointments.
He also said that the pressure level on his brain remained consistently low during the operation and that they should be able to remove the sensor from his brain that monitors this pressure in a day or so.
After the operation they took Asher back to ICU to recover. When we left him at 9:30 PM, he was still under the anesthesia and was resting very peacefully.
The doctor also said that if he does well over the next couple of days they will schedule his next operation soon after. This one will be the most difficult. It will be on the vertebrae in the middle of his back and where the greatest injury to his spine has occurred.
Asher is still not conscious. For now this is a good thing. It is sparing him a lot of pain, as well as anxiety. We really can't wait until he opens his eyes.
Gloria, Hadrienne and myself are pretty exhausted. Pray that we will be able to get the rest we need. I think it is really beginning to affect us. Please don't let up on your prayers. There is so much more to get through over the next week. After his back is operated on they will then have to operate on his leg to set it, and until they do there is still a danger of getting blood clots in it.
I honestly don't know how to begin to thank all of you who have written emails, called us, left comments on this blog, or come by personally to help us. It has overwhelmed us beyond words.
Trying to keep up,
andy mendonsa
Posted by Leda at 10:10 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
May 27, 2005
Surgery
Asher came through surgery very well. I am sure Andy will send an update later.
Posted by Leda at 08:14 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Keep praying
At this time Asher is still in surgery. I know the Mendonsas desire your prayers. I will post the first news I hear.
Posted by Leda at 04:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 27
Asher will be in surgery today beginning at 11 a.m. Please continue to lift up the surgeons and family and especially Asher.
Posted by Leda at 08:32 AM | Comments (14) | TrackBack
May 26th
Tomorrow morning between 11 am and 11:30 am, Dr Kerns (neurosurgen), will be operating on Asher's C5 vertebrae, which is in his neck. they will be going in from the front side of his neck between his carotid artery and his wind pipe. he will be assessing the injury as well as removing bone fragments, and finally fusing the vertebrae together with plates and screws.
after all asher has been through, it is excruciating to give consent to operate. even though i know that this has to be done, as well as many more operations, i still want to spare asher from everything i can. and what makes this so hard is that there is nothing i can spare him from that is out in front of him right now.
when we got the news about the severity of his spinal cord injuries everything immediately was reduced for me to a very finite picture for what was taking place. what i mean was that all i could think of was asher and us, and us and asher. there was nothing else in the picture at all. nothing else seemed relevant except for us.
after i went home that night and cried and cried and tried to pray and to get God to heal my son, i fell asleep and woke up the next morning feeling like i was standing back down at the foot of mt everest and had to start climbing back up all over again. before i went to bed that night, though, i had climbed back up to the top, but instead of looking down at my feet, like i had been for most of the day, i was suddenly looking out over a great expanse and i realized that everything that is happening to us is somehow fitting into this great expanse. God has a much greater purpose and, for whatever the reason, this horrible and excruciating pain that we are all in is helping us all to reach the mountain top so that we can all share in our understanding for this great expanse that God wants us to behold.
how many times we have to wake up and walk back up mt everest in order for this to be accomplished only He knows, and the only thing that me and my family know is that we can't make this walk up this mountain that God seems intent on having us climb everyday, right now, without your prayers. Right now it is taking every bit of prayer being offered up just to take this first step every moring and I suspect that tomorrow morning may be the hardest first step we've had to take so far. so thank you for your prayers. keep praying them, please, so that all of us that God has brought together through this unthinkable tragedy can also one day rejoice together as God's will is revealed to us. When one member sufferes we all suffer and when one member is honored we will all also be honored.
one of the greatest and most unexpected blessings that God has brought to me personally is knowing my son this week in ways that I had never known and understood him before. many of the conflicts we have had over the years, and even in very recent days and weeks, have been, in many ways, because there are sides to Asher that I had not seen. it is very difficult, if not almost impossible for a parent to know a child in the ways that his friends know and appreciate him, which doesn't take too much to figure out why this is the case, or even why that should be the case. The only reason i know this is that because of this horrible tragedy my family and i have been constantly surrounded by alot of asher's close friends. they are often the first ones there when we get to the hospital's ICU waiting room in the mornings and they are usually the last ones there when we leave. They have all cried over asher as well as cried out to God for him, and in the midst of their own pain and confusion and overwhelming desire to be who asher needs them to be, they are revealing to me, without intending to, or even knowing, many of the sides of asher that i have never known before, and at the same time showing me sides of Jesus that I have never known before either. and it is just almost more than i can even bare when i realize that by reducing Jesus down to the 2 dimensional figure that we often do, that it doesn't make room for many of those in our society who don't measure up to our narrow image of Jesus, and the result is that it also narrows our image of others. even those we love the most like our own sons and daughters.
how horrifying to think that i am guilty of limiting my love and acceptance of my own son, because I have, in effect, first limited my own love and acceptance of Jesus. what i mean by that is that my son's friends and acquaintances are not who the church typically would seek out to find Jesus among, and yet that is where Jesus has most revealed himself to us as we have desperately struggled through this week, and i am more greatful for this than i can ever even hope to be able to express to you. just please remember i am writing this to you tonight after struggling all day to get back up to the mountain top in order to take in God's bigger view in all of this. if i had waited until the morning to write it i am afraid that i would be as i was looking down at my feet again just trying to take those first few steps to get started back up the mountain.
Lord bless you all. your prayers are sustaining us in ways that i can't even express, but more importantly they are also helping us to keep our eyes on God's greater purposes. i would not have asked for this for a million years, and i am even now asking God to take it away, because it is just too hard and i still can't even begin to see how we are going to make it into next week when we can't even stay up on the top of the mountain for more than one day. and i know the spiritual thing to say right now would be Lord if this cup can be taken from us please, but not our will Lord, let your will be done. but i am not Jesus. i have not sent my son to suffer like he is now, and i can't stand it, and i would trade places with him if there was any way i could. the only thing i am getting any comfort from at all right now is that, unlike me, Jesus was able to trade places with us, and He chose to do it, not only for me, but my son too, and it has been through all of Asher's friends that He has been reminding me of this.
still hurting,
andy mendonsa
p.s. a blog has been set up for updates as well as comments you may feel let to post. the web address for the "Asher Update" is: http://asher.chattablogs.com/. i will be posting other comments and updates concerning Asher there instead of sending them out as newsletters.
Posted by Leda at 08:26 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
May 24th (First News)
Dear Friends and Supporters: (Originally sent to the Widows Harvest Prayer Chain)
my son was in a terrible accident about 8 pm yesterday. he was taking pictures in an abandoned building and fell 5 stories off of a building. Right now he is in critical condition in ICU. He has a compound fracture of the right femur. bruised lungs on his right side. trauma on the front of his brain that has caused swelling and 2 fractured vertebrae around his neck. they don't know what is causing his coma, nor do they know if there is any spinal injury. they won't be able to do an mri until later this morning after they are certain that the brain swelling is stable. the neurosurgen says that there must be something deeper in his brain that is causing the coma that didn't show up on the catscan.
all they could tell us was that they couldn't tell us anything for certain. he may wake up and he may not. he may have spinal injuries and he may not.
I just left him in ICU. he is moving one arm and moving his head, but no consciousness. I am going back to the hospital and will spend the night with my wife, gloria and hadrienne, my daughter. we won't be able to see him again until 10 am. please pray for Asher and my family.
andy mendonsa
Posted by Leda at 08:21 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
May 25, 2005
May 25 from Andy
Dear Friends and Supporters:
I sent out an email early tuesday morning about my son, but there was a problem getting it out so it only went out last night. we have more information and need for prayer now. yesterday they were finally able to get him stable enough to do an MRI in order to determine the extent of Asher's injuries to his spine. the mri revealed that his injuries to his spine are extensive. he is paralyzed at least from the waist down the doctor said and maybe from the neck down. he is still in a coma and not responding to anything. they have him on a respirator as well as about everything else you can imagine. on his right leg he has a compound fracture to his femur. they had to do surgery on him in the ICU for it yesterday in order to be able to do the mri. he does not seem to be in pain.
as devastating as the news was for my wife, daughter and i when we were told of the news yesterday afternoon in the Lord's grace i come home last night filled with optimism. the fact that he is alive is a miracle. all the people that have come to the hospital, especially my son and daughter's friends, has been overwhelming. most of my son's friends are skaters and to see the compassion and love they all have for asher and to hear them tell why they love and care for him so much has just broken my heart and let me see a side of him that i never would have. these guys have cried and cried over him since this has happened and they have shared with us how they have prayed for him. last night the icu nurse watching over asher let us bring 5 of his friends in to see him.
yesterday our widows here devoted their entire prayer time praying for asher and his healing. i know that is what is being prayed all over our city, nation and the world for asher. i think i was afraid to ask God to heal him yesterday when we heard the news that he is paralyzed. God has given me the strength and the courage to not be defeated by this news and to cry out to Him along with so many others that have so much more faith than me right now. I have cried out to God throughout the night and morning and asked Him to raise my son from the dead, to restore his body that has been so broken up and according to medical science beyond repair, to bring complete healing and restoration to him.
tuesday night as my mother cried out to God throughout the night for him, God gave her so many scriptures. psalm 23, 121, 146, and 96. also Ezekiel 37. ezekiel 37 is the passage about the dry bones that represents Israel and God using this image to illustrate Israel restoration.
since i don't believe in accidents i know that there is a greater purpose to be fulfilled through this. whereas, i could not see the devil in this at first, it becomes very clear to me know that he has laid a trap for my son, wanting to derail all that God is doing in such powerful ways throughout the world through the spreading of "pure and undefiled worship" as widows are being led to cry out to God in prayer.
i have always known that the devil attacks us where we are the most vulnerable and i have always known that i am the most vulnerable with my own family. i can tell you i have never felt so vulnerable and helpless like i do now, but i am not going to let the devil have the victory here. asher fell 5 stories and landed on several boards on his back that both cushioned his fall, prevented him from falling even further through another hole in the floor that descended in to the basement of the building that was pitch black darkness. at the same time these broads that probably save his life also caused the vertebrae damage. praise God. we have our son and he is alive and we are asking everyone to please fast along with your prayers.
please pray for the man who owns this building where asher fell. this building is in a place near the skate park where asher has been hanging out for years. it has been abandoned for years and left completely unsecured it is a miracle no one has been hurt in it before now.
i was reading scriptures about Jesus and healing and i came across Acts 10:38 "Jesus of Nazareth, how God anointed Him with the Holy Spirit and with power, and {how} He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him. "
i have never made a connection between those who Jesus healed and their being oppressed by the devil. i didn't at first, but now i believe that not only is my son being oppressed by the devil in his body right at this very moment, but that that same oppression is also oppressing all of those surrounding him with their love. which makes complete sense. when someone is released through the power of the holy spirit it has the complete and opposite effect on the one that is released as well as those who are surrounding them with their love and devotion.
i am broken to the very depths of my being over what has happened to my son. i have cried like i can't remember crying is so long. even writing this i am having to stop and take time to cry. i know that God's tears are even greater, though. asher is His son, His creation, His love, and our pain and suffering is nothing compared to Jesus' on our behalf. i am just praying that God would use the pain and suffering that is going on now with my son as a result of his injuries to speak to those that are drawing near to him to be able to know what Jesus' own suffering did on our behalf. i know that it has opened my heart to it in a way that i have never been able to imagine it before.
thank you for your love and concern for us over the years and your prayers.
a very broken father,
andy mendonsa
Posted by Andy Mendonsa at 04:49 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack