The Asher Update

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July 10, 2005

July 10, 7:50 PM

sunday's at shepherd spinal center are fairly uneventful, which is not a bad thing. it provides an opportunity for all of us to relax, sort of.

asher is already tired of pureed food. he asked to go to wendys this morning on the way to breakfast. this is the second meal in a row where he has asked for a cheese burger. his nurse said this morning maybe he could be retested to see if he is ready for solid food. i think he probably is, or at least close to it. when he doesn't eat enough at his meals that is when they have to give him supplemental nurtrition through his feeding tube in his stomach. please pray for asher to be able to begin eating solid food, but also, in the meantime to eat what he needs to so that they won't have to feed him through his tube any more and they can go ahead and remove it.

right now, the tube, or peg, he has in his stomach is in need of change. unfortunately the hole in his stomach where the present one is has broken down around the edges, and enlarged, so they are going to have to put in a new hole with a new tube. the tubes they use here are smaller than the ones that hospitals typically use, so they won't need to make as large a hole. it will be yet another scar, though, and he has so many already.

while i am thinking about it, i wanted to make a clarification about something i wrote about yesterday. i shared that asher was able to lift both hands on command several times in a row. i also said that his ability to do this would mean that he would not be classified as a quad. right now, though, even though he has been able to respond in this way, he is still considered to be a quadrapeligic and will continue to be until he is able to move both his arms and his hands in a way that allows them to have some functional use of his arms and hands for himself with them. i hope that makes sense and adds some more clarity to what i said yesterday.

as you can imagine, sometimes the excitement of something new happening with asher also means trying to understand new things about asher's injuries. most of the time i feel pretty lost when it comes to that last part. consequently, i sometimes end up trying to communicate things that i am not totally clear on myself. this is probably one of those instances. i am really sorry for any confusion i caused.

i do, though, fully believe that asher will lose his quad status, and that his ability to be able to lift his hands on command is an amazing step towards that becoming a reality. please pray for asher's patience and understanding in this process. i can sense on a pretty regular basis that, psychologically, asher is very discourged, fearful, and feeling that his condition is pretty hopeless. last night, for instance, he called himself a cripple. we are also still having a difficult time convincing him that we are not going to leave him here. he honestly believes that he is never going home again.

many of these feelings and thoughts that he is having will pass with time, i know, but that thought doesn't bring much comfort to us right now. yesterday, for me personally, i seemed to really get caught up in my mind and heart with all that asher is going through at the stage that he is in right now. and there is so much more to this for me that is still way out there in the feeling range that i am still finding it hard to articulate through either verbal or written words.

yesterday, in chattanooga, the benefit book signing for asher took place at "A Novel Idea" bookstore on frazier ave. the book is a mystery about skate boarders called: "Missing on Lonely Mountain," written by Russell Bean, a local city court judge. my mother was able to go and represent our family since neither myself, gloria nor hadrienne were able to get back to town for it. when i spoke with her about it earlier today she said it was a really wonderful event, especially getting to meet Judge Bean. she has been through some particularly rough times since we brought asher to atlanta 2 weeks ago, including going into antiphylatic shock due to an alergic reaction she had to an antibiotic that had been prescribed for her. the kindness that judge bean showed to her as well as the very caring concern that he both expressed and displayed by having this benefit book book signing for asher, really brought to her an overwhelming sense of comfort. as her son, who is not able to be with her through these times that she has been going through, i just want to express my extreme gratitude to Judge Bean for showing such amazing kindness to my mother as well as the great care and concern that he has shown to me and my family, who he does not even know. Lord bless you Judge Bean. and i also pray the Lord's blessings on karen poole, the owner of "A Novel Idea" bookstore for agreeing to let this booksigning benefit be held in her very wonderful store. i have known karen for a couple of years, but at the time that she agreed to host this event, she had not even made the connection that the person this benefit was for was my son.

i also want to just say, may the Lord continue to bless the city of chattanooga. i have never experienced anything even remotely like the way that this entire city has poured itself out on behalf of our son asher as well as our whole family, from Mayor Littlefield all the way down, across and inside and out. it has humbled us all beyond words and measure. how does one even begin to express thanks or to give back in response to such a show of unconditional love and concern? all i know to do is to just continue to give praise and thanksgiving to God for allowing us to experience what must be His own great love for a city like chattanooga that pours itself out on behalf of others in the ways that we have been so privileged to experience it ourselves.

still in awe of God's amazing grace,

andy mendonsa

| By Andy Mendonsa | 12:18 PM

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Posted by: Ashley at July 11, 2005 06:47 PM

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