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June 14, 2005
June 14, 8:00 AM
I just got an update from mark, asher's nurse. asher continued to run a fever throughout the night and they have continued to give him tylenol and put a cooling blanket on him. yesterday's temperature of 104 was a little frightening, but it has stayed between 101 and 102 since then. it is about 101.3 this morning.
his breathing has stayed stable since his breathing crisis yesterday afternoon. the Lord continues to keep us feeling helpless and dependent on him.
even though they gave him 2 more units of blood yesterday, his blood count is still a little low, which may mean that they will give him more blood today. we have had several inquiries about donating blood and that would be great. i have been told you can give and specify it to replace what asher has used already (11 units).
all day yesterday i was very aware that so many of the people that we have met in the last 3 weeks either in the icu waiting room or at the Ronald McDonald House have had family members whose conditions are improving and they have either been able to leave the hospital or have been moved to other facilities for rehab. you can't imagine how difficult this is. it isn't that i haven't been able to rejoice with them in their good news, but I can't help but be a little more than envious.
last night when gloria and i were leaving the hospital as we were walking back across the street, apparently gloria was having the same experience i was concerning the improvements that others, all around us, were seeing with their family members. this was the first time we had been able to talk about it, though. on the day that marked the 3 weeks since asher's fall (about 8:15 PM, Monday, May 23), it was a very difficult day.
more and more the Lord is focusing my prayers on the recovery of asher's mental capabilities, as well as his over all protection. since asher has been opening his eyes he has also been showing a lot of movement with his head and face. it apparently is characteristic of people with head trauma to turn their heads from side to side and display various facial movements. not to do this would be a bad sign, we have been told, but to do this for too long can also be a bad sign. we have come to realize that there is always a reoccurring pattern with his head and facial movements, and because of his eyes being open, but with just blank stares, we can't help but hurt inside as we watch him day after day struggling in this condition. we just want our baby back so badly. and asher would be so mad if he knew i was calling him our baby.
the longer this goes on the more i find myself wanting to ask the question that all of us want to ask: why God? i continue to refuse to ask this question, though, because i already know the answer, and i think that everyone in these kinds of tragic situations generally always do if they have any kind of faith in God at all.
for me, at least right now, to let myself ask this question, would be to jump off the path that God is taking us down through all of this. it would, in a sense, lead to the shutting myself off from the very source of hope that is so evidently carrying us through each moment of each day. to seriously ask God this question would not only allow doubt to set in, but it would also attach blame for this happening which would only lead to bitterness and even unforgiveness, and ultimately, even a loss of faith if that were possible.
Since accepting Jesus' proposal of marriage (i have truly come to believe that is the essence of the Gospel, that Jesus ultimately came to redeem for himself a bride, which is the "Church" according to Scripture), the only one who has ever remained truly faithful to me and my family, has been Christ. So, how at a time like this, can I not be faithful in my love and devotion to Him?
again, thank you all for your continued prayers and words of encouragement, they are truly God's way of putting His arms around us at a time when we need to be held.
Persevering, not in my strength, but His,
andy mendonsa
| By Andy Mendonsa | 10:03 AM
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Comments
This morning I read from Phillipians 4, ¨Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.¨ I have prayed for the three of you Andy, Gloria and Hadrienne every day since I heard. My devotions every morning take on new meaning as I relate your experience to what I read. I have just been able to read all of the blog. I am at Anna´s house in Barcelona and will be picking Chiho up tomorrow at the airport. We will both pray in earnest for you and Asher. Where two or more...
What you, Gloria and Hadrienne are living right now is far outside of my experience. I cannot connect to it... I can only pray that God´s will be done, that He work out His perfect will in Asher and in the three of you through this and that all of you remain open to His working. May your faith in God be your Rock and may you not waver. One wonders how one will withstand the tests that come one´s way. Your faith during this time inspires me. How wonderful that the God we believe in and trust in is the God that not only created us and sustains us but that wants only the best for us and knows what´s best for us, who had laid out His plan for us before He laid the foundations of the world. How wonderful that we know Him, that He has chosen to reveal Himself to us. Continue to run the race.
Posted by: Jeff at June 14, 2005 11:41 AM
I continue to pray for all of you daily and wanted to share that Jennifer, Grayson and Emma spent several days with me. I laid down with Grayson every night until she went to sleep. Before going to sleep we always say prayers and she remembered Asher in them.
Posted by: Faye Wright at June 14, 2005 12:45 PM
Andy, if the Lord is leading you not to ask the "Why?" question, then don't, but I thought you might consider this, because when I read your entry I immediately thought of a wonderful sermon I heard last week. The speaker said that Jesus Himself asked "WHY hast Thou forsaken me?" BUT after He asked that big why, He followed it with "Into Your hands I commend my Spirit." So if a "why" should rise up within you, during these trying times, maybe you can just take that "why" and lay it on the altar and comment your spirit to Him in faith. God understands, that in our finite understanding, we do have unanswered "why-s" about situations and trials, but we should not have why-s about Him and His plans. i think what matters is that we trust Him, not by denying we have these why-s within us, but by surrending those why-s to His higher wisdom and ways. Praying for and loving you all continually.
Elsa
Posted by: Elsa Stewart at June 14, 2005 01:01 PM
"The Lord continues to keep us feeling helpless and dependent on him."
Though you feel helpless and weak I have seen your strength and your family's strength over the last three weeks. But I know from reading this blog that the strength I see is not your own, but comes from God. I see from your writing that He is your strength and your hope. Thank you for sharing your weakness, for through it I see Christ.
You all are in my prayers. Your family comes to mind frequently, and I am trying to remember to pray for you when the Lord brings you to mind.
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Posted by: Amy Nichols at June 14, 2005 01:07 PM
Dear, dear Mendonsa family:
We are so very sorry for what you are going through. We cannot even begin to imagine it. Yet we rejoice that God is with you all and that he will deliver you.
May his Spirit bind you up you when you are broken, comfort you when you are sad, encourage you when you feel like giving up and give you courage when you are afraid. May he continually fill your heart with the hope that only he can give.
Oliver and I are continually praying for your precious Asher and for your family. We pray that each day, each moment, you will rest in Christ alone for all your needs, especially Asher's.
God is able!
Love,
Anna Trimiew
Posted by: Anna Trimiew at June 14, 2005 01:41 PM
Dear Andy and Gloria, Let not your hearts grow weary or be discouraged! Never fear. You are not alone, even in the midst of this physically and emotionally exhausting time.
God give us His Words consisting of love, care and strength. We are to love HIs Words..as the apple of our eye. Pray Psalm 17:8 (paraphrased for you personally) where the Psalmist implores God to "keep our family as the apple of the eye, hide us under the shadow of Thy wings, from the weariness that is oppressing us, from all the negative thoughts that try to compass us about."
He will not forget you, Gloria, Hadrienne or Asher today. Though this accident of the devils doing may have thrust Asher into the sick bed, yet hospital walls cannot cut off the communication between his soul and Christ who sees Asher's every weakness, who knows and is acquainted with Asher's every bodily need. He is above all earthly powers; and angels will come to you and Gloria in his sick room, bringing light and peace from heaven. His sick bed will be as a palace because for you and Gloria being the rich in faith watching over him there, and the hospital's walls will be lighted up with heavenly light as when Paul and Silas prayed and sang praises at midnight in the Philippian dungeon.
"Thus He brought us unto Himself, that we might dwell as under the shadow of the Most HIgh."
Let us exalt Jesus. In Him you have an enduring, unchanging Friend who sticks closer than a brother and though all worldly prospects fail, yet He is faithful still. You, Gloria, Hadrienne and Asher are as dear to Him as the apple of the eye.
Peggy and I love you dearly and pray unceasingly for Asher. George Thompson
Posted by: George Thompson at June 16, 2005 05:47 PM
Dearest Friends: I was praying late into the night last evening. I felt that something new was happening because you did not send an evening update.
I continue to pray that Asher will wake up and the lungs will clear. God is working His will.
We love you....Peggy Thompson
Posted by: Peggy Thompson at June 16, 2005 05:50 PM
